Overheard this weekend....Wingman waxes poetical on life and love.
Wingman has been seeing a lady. We call her Sourpuss because she seems like she is a bit of a funhater, or at least a Bossy- and Flirty-hater. But to be fair, Wingman 1) failed to introduce us when we were hanging out all together one night and 2) kept leaving her to come to our table to talk to us, most of those times sharing a chair with Bossy. So we give her a (very little) slack. She's moving far, far away this week. He has been adamant that it's just a summer fling, and no one is getting attached. Bossy and I have repeatedly told him he's full of shit, SP is going to get attached and ultimately hurt. Cut to Friday:
Wingman: Yeah, I have to get up early tomorrow because I'm helping Sourpuss move.
Flirty: That's a boyfriend move, Wingman, not a summer fling move.
Wingman: Nah, I'm just being nice. Oh, and her parents and brother will be there so I'm meeting them.
Flirty: Dude. Isn't that kind of a big step?
Wingman: Nah, whatever, it's no big deal. It's not like I want to date her or anything.
Frat Boy (shakes his head)
Later that evening...he continues to maintain that this is merely a summer fling, no strings attached, because he has no intention of maintaining yet another long distance relationship.
Frat Boy: You're like star-crossed lovers.
Flirty: Yeah, like two ships passing in the night.
Wingman: More like two bored, horny people with a month to kill.
Two more jager bombs later...a discussion of beds ensued (I don't remember why)
Flirty: Wingman, um, I heard on good authority that your bed sucks actually.
Wingman: Yeah, it does. Sourpuss complains too. But a true player has a shitty bed. Otherwise you can never be totally sure why the girl's coming over. It might be just that you have a comfortable bed. Sourpuss ain't coming over for the comfy bed. That's how I roll.
(Frat Boy and myself collapse into fits of laughter. Wingman is adorable but is absolutely NOT a player.)
Saturday night...Wingman gets serious (not about himself of course):
Girls, you gotta look at it this way. When women have sex with a guy, they get attached 75% of the time. It's just the way it is. Men are the opposite. For them, 75% of the time there's no emotional attachment. It's just sex. But that 25% of the time, men are just as attached as women.
Dude. If he's right, the odds really ARE stacked against us. That must be why God made us more clever than men. We have to game our way to that 25% so we can maintain the upper hand!
