I have not yet written about The Catch (see sidebar at right) because everything that happened between us happened several months before we started this blog and frankly he wasn't that fantastic. Fantastically odd and self-important perhaps, but not necessarily noteworthy in the grand scheme of life. A few recent events have made the whole encounter worth a MSGG update though...
The backstory, in brief: the Catch was a grad school classmate of Bossy's. I met him at a party of mostly their grad school friends in January. He latched onto me immediately. We talked for awhile, he seemed smart, a bit but not dealbreakingly arrogant, funny, charming, employed, around my age and clearly into me. I didn't even need my feminine powers of intuition to see that he was into me, because he physically latched himself onto me and didn't want to let go for the rest of the night.
He also told me that if things worked out between us, I could be very "well-positioned" because of his excellent job, the fact that he was being groomed to take over his father's company, etc., etc. I thought that was way premature and an odd thing to say, and a bit chauvinistic considering that I have a pretty good job of my own, but it had been a bit of a dry spell for me and I was trying desperately to get over Mr. Mindfuck, so I decided to just be amused rather than annoyed. The Catch really wanted to continue the evening, preferably at his house, but I declined as I was leaving early in the morning to go on vacation. I gave him my number, thinking maybe he'd call, maybe he was just drunk and horny.
He called. The next morning, BEFORE 10 AM. I thought it was flattering but really odd and against every known rule of dating. But hey, I thought, he's 36, maybe he is just past all the bullshit, Bossy said as far as she knew he was a decent guy, etc. So I called back and left a message saying that I would be back in town in a few days. He in turn left me a message saying he was "enthusiastic" about spending time with me and looked forward to seeing me "on the backside of my vacation."
I call back after my vacation.
Nothing. No return phone call. I think this is very weird given previous events.
He later calls, after a drunken text message from Bossy's phone, saying that he FORGOT that he hadn't called me and hoped I would still give him a chance, yada yada yada. I was like, whatever dude, I wasn't exactly sitting at home waiting for you.
He then falls off the face of the earth, only to reappear a couple of weeks later, hot and heavy once again. He said that he had been, um, entwined with another girl but that it was now over. He made a dinner date with me in front of at least 4 other people, putting it into his Blackberry. Lots of flirting and alcohol later, I take him home with me.
We have a great time.
He spends the night.
In the morning, I make him breakfast and we have a good conversation. No awkwardness. He tells me that he told his mother about meeting me. OK, that's awkward and weird, but I took it as a sign that maybe he just liked me a lot and that perhaps this would be more than a one nighter.
Later that evening, he calls to tell me once again what a great time he had but that we probably "jumped the gun" a little bit, he doesn't usually do that, etc. I agreed and said my feelings were much the same. Which was true...I'm not really a fan of one-night stands. He said he wanted to take a couple of steps back, which I took to mean casually dating and NOT sleeping together again just yet.
Apparently he took it as "jump back to the point before we met, where we don't talk because we are unaware of the other's existence." Perhaps he owned some sort of dating time-travel machine.
I ran into him a few days later, on my birthday. He bought me a drink, was super chummy, etc. I asked him if he was going to blow off our date later that week (ok, I was a little drunk and a lot feisty by this point). He said "yes, but not for the reason you think." Then he proceeds to tell me that he doesn't want to hurt me more than I've already been hurt, yada yada yada. I was seriously annoyed by this point, because um, I was not exactly planning the wedding or obsessing over whether we had a "future." I just wanted to know whether we had a freaking date or not.
He emailed and said he would be in touch after a big exam he had a couple of weeks from then. But he never called. (Shocking, I know).
This was in February. Now, we do not live in a big city and we have several mutual friends in common, so I presumed I would eventually run into him again, but I hadn't.
Until Wednesday.
I was walking back to my car, by myself, after having attended a cookout with Bossy and some of our other friends. A man is walking, by himself, down the street approaching me. I don't pay much attention until he stops and stares at me.
It is the CATCH! And, of course, I was immediately pissed because in my head when I envisioned our, um, reunion, I was looking smoking hot, not all sweaty and wearing my glasses. Not that he seemed to notice, because, he is in fact a dude.
He gives me a big hug and seems happy to see me. I am cordial, we make small talk, he asks to walk me to my car. I did not think that was necessary but said ok. When he wasn't making small talk, he was just sort of staring at me and (I thought) seemed kind of sad. Eventually I said "well, I'm gonna go ahead and go now."
He gave me another big bear hug, and this time he would NOT let go. For literally minutes. Then he started CRADLING MY HEAD. I am thinking, this is really messed up, what is his deal, because if he was going to do this type of thing he really should have spent some of the "small talk" time explaining why he went to such lengths to seem interested in actually dating me only to turn around and treat me like a casual drunken hookup. Or something along those lines.
He finally breaks the hug....and KISSES ME. A relatively chaste kiss but still.
Then the piece de resistance.
As he breaks away, he lets his hand graze DOWN MY SHIRT. As in TOUCHES MY BOOB. WITHOUT PERMISSION.
WTF?
Bossy can't figure him out when I relay the story to her. She thinks he's as weird as I do. I comment again that it could have just been me, but he seemed kind of sad and out of sorts. My guy friends all agree the copping of the feel was not at all accidental and way sleazy.
Cut to last night.
Bossy and another friend of ours arrive at a party where I'm chilling out and having some drinks with our other friend Texas. They have news.
The Catch is about to become a father. In December. With an allegedly older woman. Supposedly he has agreed to "do the right thing," as in support the child if she in turn agrees to a paternity test and it turned out that he indeed had the lucky swimmer. Which makes me think this child was not conceived in a committed, loving relationship.
My jaw hits the ground and does not return for at least a half hour.
No wonder he seemed sad and lonely, and was wandering the streets by himself.
My friends soon quip: Flirty, all we could think of is that could have been you!!!!
All I could think of is, wow that would have SUCKED if it had been me. Thank the Lord above for effective birth control.
