[Ed. note: Sassy has once again called us out on our pathetic lack of posting. But I sense with the holidays having arrived, much shenanigans with the Glamour Girls will ensue and good stories will be right around the corner. In the meantime, enjoy what our guest blogger extraordinaire has to say!]
My single girlfriends and I have been experiencing a new trend in dating that we're not too happy about. We are getting asked out on dates via text message. And we don't like it.
Yes, I know, text messaging is the new "it" thing. And while I am not opposed to sending text messages for short messages ("meet me in 10"), or times when you can't actually talk on the phone ("in the bathroom on date--he's hot!"), or when you just have a stupid comment to make ("I'm sooo drunk!") or the newest version of phone sex ("what are you wearing?"), when it comes to an important conversation, shouldn't an actual conversation actually take place?
I can understand asking the intial question for the first date over texting. Texting makes it much easier to say something that you're nervous about. So, if a guy's not sure if the girl is interested, a text is the easier route. Fine. But when it comes time to actually plan the date, the when, the where, I want an actual conversation. And by the time I've gone out on 3 dates with a guy, I should have had more than one phone conversation with this guy.
Instead, I'm getting a text message asking if I want to go out, and a text message a few days later telling me when and where to meet my date.
So, yesterday, I asked a guy friend of mine what the story is. I wanted to know if this is something that guys all find acceptable, so I'm going to have to accept it, or if I've just been giving some loser guys too much credit and letting this slide when I shouldn't be.
Why do guys do this? His initial response, "You have to remember, men are simple." Good point.
According to him, men don't think about the fact that they're not actually dialling a phone anymore. They're just dong what's simplest.
He also said that this is a safe way of asking out a girl if he's insecure or unsure of how interested she is. He also said that, ideally, the more comfortable a guy gets and the more sure he is of the girl's interest, the more likely he will be to actually dial the phone instead of texting.
So, on his advice, I'm willing to give guys a break--for a while. After the first few dates, though, if he's still texting and not calling (a combo of the two is just fine)--then it will become af factor in deciding what I think of the guy.
Sunday, December 16, 2007
Saturday, November 17, 2007
Probably not the most successful online dating profile...
I can't make this stuff up. I swear. This is all exactly as it appeared to me (i.e. typos/grammatical errors are NOT to be attributed to me. Yes, I know. I'm a geek.)
Age: 37
Height: 3' 9" (I am assuming this is a typo, but I suppose you can never be sure)
Three things he is thankful for:
1. thankful for God given peace and life
2. thankful to sign in at e harmond
3. thankful to know about these site
He hates cheating and gossiping, and wishes people knew that about him. Fair enough, although probably means we are incompatible on this alone. I LUVS the gossip, although I hope I'm considered a harmless rather than malicious gossip. More I'm just nosy and like to be in the know.
BUT then he goes on to list things he can't live without.
One of those things is his wife.
Yes. The married men keep chasing me. I am such a lucky girl.
Age: 37
Height: 3' 9" (I am assuming this is a typo, but I suppose you can never be sure)
Three things he is thankful for:
1. thankful for God given peace and life
2. thankful to sign in at e harmond
3. thankful to know about these site
He hates cheating and gossiping, and wishes people knew that about him. Fair enough, although probably means we are incompatible on this alone. I LUVS the gossip, although I hope I'm considered a harmless rather than malicious gossip. More I'm just nosy and like to be in the know.
BUT then he goes on to list things he can't live without.
One of those things is his wife.
Yes. The married men keep chasing me. I am such a lucky girl.
Wednesday, November 14, 2007
Just Not That Into Him
"Him" being all guys. None of them right now interest me. I'm over it. Done.
Yet, in a moment of naivety, I told a guy-friend that I would meet him for a drink tonight after my hair appointment. Seemed innocent enough. A drink. That's all. Even though we have never met one-on-one for a drink, I have seen him out countless times and he's always nice and fun to talk to. Never has hit on me. Always platonic. [note - I think that Duck Boy is an ideal name for him]
So I waltz into the downtown bar/restaurant that he wanted to meet at, hair all "did" - cut and darker. Hair looking pretty great, if I may say so myself....
But my hair is irrelevant.
Where was I? Oh, yes... I arrived at the bar/restaurant, and he greets me at the bar. And tells me that he has decided he was hungry, so he made reservations for us to have dinner.
Mind you, several reasons why I was not happy about this ... a) I am NOT interested in this guy AT ALL. Why? For starters, 3 years my junior. Not to mention countless other reasons why I like him, um, not at all. b) dinner meant a commitment. As in, at LEAST an hour commitment. And with the way I feel about the male gender right now, that was about, um, 45 minutes longer than I had the patience for. c) I was highly annoyed that he just assumed dinner was OK by me. d) I'm dieting (because helllllooooo, chubby Bossy not doing so hot in the male department) so dinner at a semi-fancy restaurant automatically means too many calories - in the form of yummy bread and olive oil, chef's courtesy little nibblet, rich creamy sauces, and wine.
When did I become so STUPID as to fall for such a simple trick as that?
Bossy needs to get her A-Game back on.
OH, btw... I am not cynical or bitter or anything like that. I'm sad. And in feeling sad about the recent events, the last thing I wanted to do was deal with another guy. What I really wanted to do was go home, put PJs on, and cry. Yes, feeling sorry for myself. And picturing myself with 100 cats (well, probably dogs) for the rest of my life. I think that true love and romance and all that "feel good" stuff does happen to most people. I just don't know that it's in the stars for me.
yes, very "half-empty glass," I know... Deal with it though. It's me for another day or two.
Yet, in a moment of naivety, I told a guy-friend that I would meet him for a drink tonight after my hair appointment. Seemed innocent enough. A drink. That's all. Even though we have never met one-on-one for a drink, I have seen him out countless times and he's always nice and fun to talk to. Never has hit on me. Always platonic. [note - I think that Duck Boy is an ideal name for him]
So I waltz into the downtown bar/restaurant that he wanted to meet at, hair all "did" - cut and darker. Hair looking pretty great, if I may say so myself....
But my hair is irrelevant.
Where was I? Oh, yes... I arrived at the bar/restaurant, and he greets me at the bar. And tells me that he has decided he was hungry, so he made reservations for us to have dinner.
Mind you, several reasons why I was not happy about this ... a) I am NOT interested in this guy AT ALL. Why? For starters, 3 years my junior. Not to mention countless other reasons why I like him, um, not at all. b) dinner meant a commitment. As in, at LEAST an hour commitment. And with the way I feel about the male gender right now, that was about, um, 45 minutes longer than I had the patience for. c) I was highly annoyed that he just assumed dinner was OK by me. d) I'm dieting (because helllllooooo, chubby Bossy not doing so hot in the male department) so dinner at a semi-fancy restaurant automatically means too many calories - in the form of yummy bread and olive oil, chef's courtesy little nibblet, rich creamy sauces, and wine.
When did I become so STUPID as to fall for such a simple trick as that?
Bossy needs to get her A-Game back on.
OH, btw... I am not cynical or bitter or anything like that. I'm sad. And in feeling sad about the recent events, the last thing I wanted to do was deal with another guy. What I really wanted to do was go home, put PJs on, and cry. Yes, feeling sorry for myself. And picturing myself with 100 cats (well, probably dogs) for the rest of my life. I think that true love and romance and all that "feel good" stuff does happen to most people. I just don't know that it's in the stars for me.
yes, very "half-empty glass," I know... Deal with it though. It's me for another day or two.
Sunday, November 11, 2007
Fool Me Once, Shame On You. Fool Me Twice, Shame On Me.
The Pope era is over.
He simply doesn't like me. Well, he likes me, as a person. In fact, we have a lot of fun together. But he just is not that "into me." Or in his words, he is not nearly as excited about me as he was before he moved here. He's just not feeling it.
I would say this caught me completely by surprise, but my frighteningly accurate and perceptive gut instinct warned me. I tried to ignore the gut, because just when I was feeling the most vulnerable, he would do or say something to reassure me.
But I knew that one just does not go from coming on as strong as he did over email and the phone (before he moved back to this city), to being as distant as he has been. Granted, it was sporadic (the putting the distance between us), so I even tried to chalk it up to his across-country move and his job. But the warning signs were there, and I guess, have been since we had the near-fatal conversation about a month ago. I should have proceeded with caution after he cancelled our first date, but nooooo, I had to go and throw caution to the wind.
I am still sorting through my feelings about this. It's not easy, going straight from the whole Jake Brigance/Spock situation, to now this.... I like(d) the Pope a lot, we had a great time together and I thought we had chemistry (regardless of his recent behavior). So I am sad. I am not really angry with him, because I did appreciate the honest and open conversation we had last night about it. He could have dragged this on for a while, only to leave me much more hurt than I am at this stage. I am, however, a little annoyed at him for giving me a false sense of security through all of the many many sweet things he said to me. He even went so far as to say that I was "safe" with him. Not so much, it seems.
The worst part of it is that I am reeling from the rejection. I wish I knew WHY. He didn't give me a tangible reason that I can hold onto in dealing with this. Like, was it my looks? my weight? a certain personality trait? did I say or do something?
I am not one to open up quickly to a guy while dating. It takes me some time. Usually. With the Pope, I allowed myself to be vulnerable. And I am not doing a good job of forgiving myself for that.
On the flip side, I'm trying to find the positive in this. Trying to learn a little bit of something from this experience. I realized today that this "relationship" brought out an insecure part of me that I didn't like. That's not me, and I don't want that characteristic messing with my happy existence. When I find a guy that is right for me, I shouldn't be nervous or worry about how he feels about me. I should also not ever feel like I have to change anything about myself or my beliefs to be what I think a guy wants.
So, now, I can stop worrying and get on my life, focus on work, spend time with my great friends, and just continue to enjoy this fabulous single life.
He simply doesn't like me. Well, he likes me, as a person. In fact, we have a lot of fun together. But he just is not that "into me." Or in his words, he is not nearly as excited about me as he was before he moved here. He's just not feeling it.
I would say this caught me completely by surprise, but my frighteningly accurate and perceptive gut instinct warned me. I tried to ignore the gut, because just when I was feeling the most vulnerable, he would do or say something to reassure me.
But I knew that one just does not go from coming on as strong as he did over email and the phone (before he moved back to this city), to being as distant as he has been. Granted, it was sporadic (the putting the distance between us), so I even tried to chalk it up to his across-country move and his job. But the warning signs were there, and I guess, have been since we had the near-fatal conversation about a month ago. I should have proceeded with caution after he cancelled our first date, but nooooo, I had to go and throw caution to the wind.
I am still sorting through my feelings about this. It's not easy, going straight from the whole Jake Brigance/Spock situation, to now this.... I like(d) the Pope a lot, we had a great time together and I thought we had chemistry (regardless of his recent behavior). So I am sad. I am not really angry with him, because I did appreciate the honest and open conversation we had last night about it. He could have dragged this on for a while, only to leave me much more hurt than I am at this stage. I am, however, a little annoyed at him for giving me a false sense of security through all of the many many sweet things he said to me. He even went so far as to say that I was "safe" with him. Not so much, it seems.
The worst part of it is that I am reeling from the rejection. I wish I knew WHY. He didn't give me a tangible reason that I can hold onto in dealing with this. Like, was it my looks? my weight? a certain personality trait? did I say or do something?
I am not one to open up quickly to a guy while dating. It takes me some time. Usually. With the Pope, I allowed myself to be vulnerable. And I am not doing a good job of forgiving myself for that.
On the flip side, I'm trying to find the positive in this. Trying to learn a little bit of something from this experience. I realized today that this "relationship" brought out an insecure part of me that I didn't like. That's not me, and I don't want that characteristic messing with my happy existence. When I find a guy that is right for me, I shouldn't be nervous or worry about how he feels about me. I should also not ever feel like I have to change anything about myself or my beliefs to be what I think a guy wants.
So, now, I can stop worrying and get on my life, focus on work, spend time with my great friends, and just continue to enjoy this fabulous single life.
Sunday, November 4, 2007
Wingman Is Full of Knowledge
Flirty and our ex-coworkers had a little bit of a wager over this past year. On whether or not Wingman and I would ever hook up. This is why we won't. Because he is too wonderful of a friend and I would never want to lose that. I choose friends over dating anyday. I adore Wingman, he ranks high on my list of favorite people. But always and forever, friends.
Read on to hear the latest Wingman-isms... (see here and here for reminders on other profound things he has said)
I am going through a cycle of vulnerability. I don't like it, one bit. This in-between period of dating - you know, the uncertain "make or break" phase. Right after the initial meetings and flirty bouts of communications and a few dates, but before any potential "something more" phase.
Unlike my Two-Date Rule (no need to date after 2 dates if he has zero potential)---I don't necessarily have control over the situation if I actually like the guy. It sucks, basically. The uncertainty - will he or will he not ask me out again? It's not the good kind of butterfly feeling, it's the bad kind.
That's where I am right now with the Pope.
I called Wingman tonight to talk about it. Because better to talk to him than the Pope. And I wanted the guy's point of view, even if it is Wingman (who may not be the most perceptive person ever). I didn't care if he even talked back to me. I just needed a phone to my ear, a phone to talk into. And a few strategically placed comments on his part to fool me into thinking he was really listening.
I explain how I am feeling, my silly paranoia and insecurity over the situation. That I know I'm being ridiculous and reading into things, but that I can't help it because I'm a girl. Having these insecure feelings is not the usual for me. But it has been hiding in me somewhere. And it just found its way out.
Wingman says, "90% of the time, guys don't think about the things they do. But 90% of the time, girls do think about what guys do."
To which I respond with, "guys suck." And I follow it up with what I want. That it's very basic and simple, and it's not much. I just need some kind of sign or reassurance that he does like me. That's all.
And Wingman says, "girls are complicated. That is why we (guys) suck, because you are complicated. And we just don't understand." Followed with, "Dealing with girls is as hard as brain surgery."
hmmm. I think I take that as a compliment. Who wants to be easy?
Anyway, back to the story... So Wingman gives me advice, which was on-point with what I thought anyway.
Advice being, step back. For a week. Don't walk away, yet. Wait and see how he responds. The ball is in his court because he KNOWS that I like him and he knows that I'm feeling a tad bit vulnerable. Let's see what he does with that knowledge, how he uses it.
Wingman added a little something at the end to help my confidence... It went something like: "If he doesn't act on this, then he is retarded, and you don't want to date a retard. I mean, why date an idiot?"
I wish it was as simple as that in my head.
Read on to hear the latest Wingman-isms... (see here and here for reminders on other profound things he has said)
I am going through a cycle of vulnerability. I don't like it, one bit. This in-between period of dating - you know, the uncertain "make or break" phase. Right after the initial meetings and flirty bouts of communications and a few dates, but before any potential "something more" phase.
Unlike my Two-Date Rule (no need to date after 2 dates if he has zero potential)---I don't necessarily have control over the situation if I actually like the guy. It sucks, basically. The uncertainty - will he or will he not ask me out again? It's not the good kind of butterfly feeling, it's the bad kind.
That's where I am right now with the Pope.
I called Wingman tonight to talk about it. Because better to talk to him than the Pope. And I wanted the guy's point of view, even if it is Wingman (who may not be the most perceptive person ever). I didn't care if he even talked back to me. I just needed a phone to my ear, a phone to talk into. And a few strategically placed comments on his part to fool me into thinking he was really listening.
I explain how I am feeling, my silly paranoia and insecurity over the situation. That I know I'm being ridiculous and reading into things, but that I can't help it because I'm a girl. Having these insecure feelings is not the usual for me. But it has been hiding in me somewhere. And it just found its way out.
Wingman says, "90% of the time, guys don't think about the things they do. But 90% of the time, girls do think about what guys do."
To which I respond with, "guys suck." And I follow it up with what I want. That it's very basic and simple, and it's not much. I just need some kind of sign or reassurance that he does like me. That's all.
And Wingman says, "girls are complicated. That is why we (guys) suck, because you are complicated. And we just don't understand." Followed with, "Dealing with girls is as hard as brain surgery."
hmmm. I think I take that as a compliment. Who wants to be easy?
Anyway, back to the story... So Wingman gives me advice, which was on-point with what I thought anyway.
Advice being, step back. For a week. Don't walk away, yet. Wait and see how he responds. The ball is in his court because he KNOWS that I like him and he knows that I'm feeling a tad bit vulnerable. Let's see what he does with that knowledge, how he uses it.
Wingman added a little something at the end to help my confidence... It went something like: "If he doesn't act on this, then he is retarded, and you don't want to date a retard. I mean, why date an idiot?"
I wish it was as simple as that in my head.
Thursday, November 1, 2007
Adventures in Cyberdating
Faithful Main Street Peeps -
Apologies for the decidedly maudlin tone of my last post. I momentarily fell into the proverbial bell jar and was having a big ol' pity party for myself. The fact is, I got myself back into this craziness, it's up to me to get myself out. It's not like he forced me to see him again or physically stalked me. Senor Mindfuck's issues are not my issues or my problem, a fact I just need to remind myself of on an hourly basis so I don't get sucked back in to his warped logic. What I will give him is that he doesn't intend to make me crazy, it's just that his version of reality and mine are not the same. As in I'm in reality, he most of the time, at least where I am concerned, is not. Writing everything out was quite cathartic and I'm in a much better frame of mind now. So, thanks for your indulgence, and onward and upward!
In the big bad cold city, when you have a crazy job, onward and upward for ever increasing numbers of folks means consulting the internet. As in internet dating. I have tried it a couple of times over the past few years (I have to say, Bossy has had the good fortune to keep men in decent supply without trying internet dating, but she is in the minority as far as I can tell. Almost every single woman I know has tried it by her late 20s or early 30s, from hotties to girl-next-door types. Anyway, I digress!).
I was NOT excited about doing it again but decided in light of recent events it would be a good idea, if nothing else than to kick my ass into gear and really get back "out there." I usually need a really firm and swift kick in this department. To get "out there" that is.
Because here's one of MY dirty little secrets.
I love people. I love men. I love flirting. I love the more-than-flirting (you know what I mean, but I'm not describing it. THIS AIN'T no PORN site.)
BUT I HATE DATING. EVERYTHING ABOUT IT.
This could explain why I am still single.
I will qualify and say I like the IDEA of dating but the reality has always sucked. For me. Thus I hate it.
I am at heart risk-averse, or at most a calculated risk-taker. Very calculated, in a manner that dating doesn't allow for. Because I won't know before I date the guy (in most cases anyway) whether he really likes me or finds me at best a platonic buddy. And I need to know these things before I will even come close to expressing interest. Dating requires confidence and leaps of faith, neither of which I have been particularly good at.
Now if a guy wants to take me out to dinner, I am oh-so-cool with that. I am a friendly girl, and I like good food as well as good conversation. Unless it is a DATE. It sends me into a tailspin. Who needs the pressure? I always feel on edge about being judged. My friends frequently tell me I'm ridiculous because they think I have nothing to worry about. But I am secretly convinced that men on a first date can not only guess my (higher than I'd like) weight and that knowledge is the anti-Viagra, they can also SEE MY CELLULITE. THROUGH MY CLOTHES. And that they find it. Utterly. Repulsive. Or that they can somehow sense what an undatable geek I was in high school and are afraid that I still am. An undatable geek, that is. Just with way better clothes and makeup.
Anyhoo. Since America frowns on arranged marriage, and quite frankly I don't know who I would trust to pick someone out for me, I am forced reluctantly into the dating world on occasion.
Bossy and Sassy were heavy proponents of "Flirty does the Internet" and ganged up on me, so here I am. A re-subscriber to a leading internet dating site. Back for Round 2, hoping this major market has more play than the medium-sized market where I last tried it. I have further promised to have an open mind and to be patient. Which is EXTREMELY difficult for me. The patient part anyway.
So. Here. We. Go.
The good news? I am getting TONS of matches. At least five times the matches I got the last time I tried it. And it's only been a couple of days.
First, a few general observations.
I am consistently getting matched with engineer types, science types, and a few government and military types. It begs the question - is this my type, or does this just reinforce the stereotype that these fellows tend to be way more introverted and thus the internet is a more popular option for them?
One thing is for sure.
Engineers cannot spell.
And I'm a lawyer. Precise spelling and grammar is very necessary to my happiness. The lack of it drives me CRAZY.
Especially the guy who misspelled engineer. No joke. He listed his profession as "enginneer."
But in the spirit of openmindedness, I am attempting to overlook that. He is Latino, so I'm proceeding on the assumption that perhaps English is not his first language. So I decide to respond to his invitation to chat.
However, on this particular site, you don't just start emailing. There are these early steps called "Guided Communication."
So if a dude is interested, he sends you some multiple choice questions. You send the answers, and then your own questions.
At this stage, I learned our enginNeer "likes traditional gender roles and wants to be in a relationship that celebrates them."
Hmmm. Not so sure about that one. But am keeping an open mind.
The next stage is exchanging lists of Must Haves and Can't Stands. Basically your dealbreakers, which is efficient, but weird, because it's not like you'd EVER throw that out there on a first or even third date. At least I wouldn't. But since I'm given no choice, we exchanged the lists.
One of his Must Haves: I must have a partner who mainly enjoys staying in together and having quiet evenings alone or with close friends.
Sigh. That sounds exactly like me. About 6 times a year. But he enjoys salsa dancing, so maybe we can strike a compromise.
One of his Can't Stands: Workaholic.
Sigh again. I'm in a job where it doesn't really matter if I am a workaholic at heart or not. Workaholism is forced upon me at every turn. It's in the job description.
This is not looking good.
Next Can't Stand: I can't stand someone who is overweight.
Now, I have full body pictures posted in my profile (nothing gross, get your minds out of the gutter) so maybe his idea of overweight and mine are not the same, but facts are facts, and I have some weight to lose. So technically (gulp) I am overweight.
Put that with the fact that one of his Must Haves was that I had to agree to take care of his parents at some point, while one of his Can't Stands was if my relatives and friends are a big part of my life.
So, I have a mental picture of a somewhat controlling sexist guy. Which may or may not be fair, but in any event, I am not seeing any compatibility. So I hit "Close Match."
Why waste time right?
When you close a match, the other person gets to write you a little message. They never do.
Except this guy.
He writes: I really thought we had potential and hope you will reconsider.
WTF?
So, loyal reader(s), what should I do? Meet for the requisite coffee just to see? Or continue to call it a day and troll (I mean look) for more compatible matches?
Oh, and these stories will continue for as long as I can stand online dating this time around, so fasten your seatbelts, kids! It's going to be an AMAZING ride :)
Apologies for the decidedly maudlin tone of my last post. I momentarily fell into the proverbial bell jar and was having a big ol' pity party for myself. The fact is, I got myself back into this craziness, it's up to me to get myself out. It's not like he forced me to see him again or physically stalked me. Senor Mindfuck's issues are not my issues or my problem, a fact I just need to remind myself of on an hourly basis so I don't get sucked back in to his warped logic. What I will give him is that he doesn't intend to make me crazy, it's just that his version of reality and mine are not the same. As in I'm in reality, he most of the time, at least where I am concerned, is not. Writing everything out was quite cathartic and I'm in a much better frame of mind now. So, thanks for your indulgence, and onward and upward!
In the big bad cold city, when you have a crazy job, onward and upward for ever increasing numbers of folks means consulting the internet. As in internet dating. I have tried it a couple of times over the past few years (I have to say, Bossy has had the good fortune to keep men in decent supply without trying internet dating, but she is in the minority as far as I can tell. Almost every single woman I know has tried it by her late 20s or early 30s, from hotties to girl-next-door types. Anyway, I digress!).
I was NOT excited about doing it again but decided in light of recent events it would be a good idea, if nothing else than to kick my ass into gear and really get back "out there." I usually need a really firm and swift kick in this department. To get "out there" that is.
Because here's one of MY dirty little secrets.
I love people. I love men. I love flirting. I love the more-than-flirting (you know what I mean, but I'm not describing it. THIS AIN'T no PORN site.)
BUT I HATE DATING. EVERYTHING ABOUT IT.
This could explain why I am still single.
I will qualify and say I like the IDEA of dating but the reality has always sucked. For me. Thus I hate it.
I am at heart risk-averse, or at most a calculated risk-taker. Very calculated, in a manner that dating doesn't allow for. Because I won't know before I date the guy (in most cases anyway) whether he really likes me or finds me at best a platonic buddy. And I need to know these things before I will even come close to expressing interest. Dating requires confidence and leaps of faith, neither of which I have been particularly good at.
Now if a guy wants to take me out to dinner, I am oh-so-cool with that. I am a friendly girl, and I like good food as well as good conversation. Unless it is a DATE. It sends me into a tailspin. Who needs the pressure? I always feel on edge about being judged. My friends frequently tell me I'm ridiculous because they think I have nothing to worry about. But I am secretly convinced that men on a first date can not only guess my (higher than I'd like) weight and that knowledge is the anti-Viagra, they can also SEE MY CELLULITE. THROUGH MY CLOTHES. And that they find it. Utterly. Repulsive. Or that they can somehow sense what an undatable geek I was in high school and are afraid that I still am. An undatable geek, that is. Just with way better clothes and makeup.
Anyhoo. Since America frowns on arranged marriage, and quite frankly I don't know who I would trust to pick someone out for me, I am forced reluctantly into the dating world on occasion.
Bossy and Sassy were heavy proponents of "Flirty does the Internet" and ganged up on me, so here I am. A re-subscriber to a leading internet dating site. Back for Round 2, hoping this major market has more play than the medium-sized market where I last tried it. I have further promised to have an open mind and to be patient. Which is EXTREMELY difficult for me. The patient part anyway.
So. Here. We. Go.
The good news? I am getting TONS of matches. At least five times the matches I got the last time I tried it. And it's only been a couple of days.
First, a few general observations.
I am consistently getting matched with engineer types, science types, and a few government and military types. It begs the question - is this my type, or does this just reinforce the stereotype that these fellows tend to be way more introverted and thus the internet is a more popular option for them?
One thing is for sure.
Engineers cannot spell.
And I'm a lawyer. Precise spelling and grammar is very necessary to my happiness. The lack of it drives me CRAZY.
Especially the guy who misspelled engineer. No joke. He listed his profession as "enginneer."
But in the spirit of openmindedness, I am attempting to overlook that. He is Latino, so I'm proceeding on the assumption that perhaps English is not his first language. So I decide to respond to his invitation to chat.
However, on this particular site, you don't just start emailing. There are these early steps called "Guided Communication."
So if a dude is interested, he sends you some multiple choice questions. You send the answers, and then your own questions.
At this stage, I learned our enginNeer "likes traditional gender roles and wants to be in a relationship that celebrates them."
Hmmm. Not so sure about that one. But am keeping an open mind.
The next stage is exchanging lists of Must Haves and Can't Stands. Basically your dealbreakers, which is efficient, but weird, because it's not like you'd EVER throw that out there on a first or even third date. At least I wouldn't. But since I'm given no choice, we exchanged the lists.
One of his Must Haves: I must have a partner who mainly enjoys staying in together and having quiet evenings alone or with close friends.
Sigh. That sounds exactly like me. About 6 times a year. But he enjoys salsa dancing, so maybe we can strike a compromise.
One of his Can't Stands: Workaholic.
Sigh again. I'm in a job where it doesn't really matter if I am a workaholic at heart or not. Workaholism is forced upon me at every turn. It's in the job description.
This is not looking good.
Next Can't Stand: I can't stand someone who is overweight.
Now, I have full body pictures posted in my profile (nothing gross, get your minds out of the gutter) so maybe his idea of overweight and mine are not the same, but facts are facts, and I have some weight to lose. So technically (gulp) I am overweight.
Put that with the fact that one of his Must Haves was that I had to agree to take care of his parents at some point, while one of his Can't Stands was if my relatives and friends are a big part of my life.
So, I have a mental picture of a somewhat controlling sexist guy. Which may or may not be fair, but in any event, I am not seeing any compatibility. So I hit "Close Match."
Why waste time right?
When you close a match, the other person gets to write you a little message. They never do.
Except this guy.
He writes: I really thought we had potential and hope you will reconsider.
WTF?
So, loyal reader(s), what should I do? Meet for the requisite coffee just to see? Or continue to call it a day and troll (I mean look) for more compatible matches?
Oh, and these stories will continue for as long as I can stand online dating this time around, so fasten your seatbelts, kids! It's going to be an AMAZING ride :)
Monday, October 29, 2007
A Cautionary Tale
***Some of you might remember the old story of the Scorpion and the Frog. For those of you who don't, a refresher below.***
**********
One day, a scorpion looked around at the mountain where he lived and decided that he wanted a change. So he set out on a journey through the forests and hills. He climbed over rocks and under vines and kept going until he reached a river.
The river was wide and swift, and the scorpion stopped to reconsider the situation. He couldn't see any way across. So he ran upriver and then checked downriver, all the while thinking that he might have to turn back.
Suddenly, he saw a frog sitting in the rushes by the bank of the stream on the other side of the river. He decided to ask the frog for help getting across the stream.
"Hellooo Mr. Frog!" called the scorpion across the water, "Would you be so kind as to give me a ride on your back across the river?"
"Well now, Mr. Scorpion! How do I know that if I try to help you, you won't try to kill me?" asked the frog hesitantly.
"Because," the scorpion replied, "If I try to kill you, then I would die too, for you see I cannot swim!"
Now this seemed to make sense to the frog. But he asked. "What about when I get close to the bank? You could still try to kill me and get back to the shore!"
"This is true," agreed the scorpion, "But then I wouldn't be able to get to the other side of the river!"
"Alright then...how do I know you won't just wait till we get to the other side and THEN kill me?" said the frog.
"Ahh...," crooned the scorpion, "Because you see, once you've taken me to the other side of this river, I will be so grateful for your help, that it would hardly be fair to reward you with death, now would it?!"
So the frog agreed to take the scorpion across the river. He swam over to the bank and settled himself near the mud to pick up his passenger. The scorpion crawled onto the frog's back, his sharp claws prickling into the frog's soft hide, and the frog slid into the river. The muddy water swirled around them, but the frog stayed near the surface so the scorpion would not drown. He kicked strongly through the first half of the stream, his flippers paddling wildly against the current.
Halfway across the river, the frog suddenly felt a sharp sting in his back and, out of the corner of his eye, saw the scorpion remove his stinger from the frog's back. A deadening numbness began to creep into his limbs.
"You fool!" croaked the frog, "Now we shall both die! Why on earth did you do that?"
The scorpion shrugged, and did a little jig on the drownings frog's back.
"I could not help myself. It is my nature."
Then they both sank into the muddy waters of the swiftly flowing river.
**********
I remember this fable from when I was a child. I remember thinking, that was one stupid frog, what could it have been thinking! Obviously the frog was going to end up dead in the water. Literally. I mean duh. Anyone with half a brain could see that the scorpion was just using the frog.
But that was before I grew up to become a Main Street Glamour Girl. Now I know what that frog's problem was, and I have a lot more sympathy for her.
Sex.
Sex was that frog's problem. Really good sex, and emotional manipulation at the highest level. In today's urban parlance, it's called getting played.
I think the story may have gone something like this.
The frog had a fling with the scorpion back in the day. First, the scorpion charmed her and made her feel like the center of his world, and that he would be lost without her. He also convinced the frog that what they had was so precious, it should be their little secret. The frog reluctantly agreed. After all, the scorpion was smart, and charming, and attentive, and the frog had been alone for a very long time. So long that the frog began to wonder what was wrong with her, began to doubt that anyone would ever love her, meaty legs and all. And so the frog fell under the scorpion's spell, even becoming convinced that maybe she shouldn't be so open with people about her happiness, that maybe the scorpion was right, that she talked too much about her personal life, and that maybe she should be more private, especially where the scorpion was concerned.
Once she was good and hooked, he lied to her, over and over, and used her for personal gain, and broke her heart. All of the other frogs were baffled and worried. They all liked the frog, for she was good-hearted and kind, and thought she could do better than this scorpion who made her so unhappy and so unsure of her own worth. After all, most people would have run away from the scorpion, and turned a deaf ear to his lame, if occasionally creative, excuses for his assorted misdeeds. And this particular frog was a no-bullshit kind of frog, not usually so easily manipulated. But the frog, under the powerful spell of the scorpion, was habitually forgiving. A better phrase might be pathologically forgiving. A doormat, if you will. She desperately wanted to believe that the scorpion was misguided rather than malicious, and that if she gave it enough time, that things would get better. The scorpion would right himself and then it wouldn't sting so badly anymore.
Not that the frog didn't stand up for herself occasionally.
She told him to get lost, more than once, but never completely cut the stinger out of her back.
So she moved far far away and had the time of her life. She had such the time of her life, and felt so strong, and so powerful, she thought she could handle a little bit of scorpion back in her life. Because the scorpion was charming, exciting, and just a little bit dangerous, not to mention forbidden. He also made her feel oh so needed, and pretty, and wanted, and a little bit less lonely when she moved yet again to a new river valley to take a high-pressured job at a well-respected lilypad factory. He promised that he had turned over a new leaf, that he would never hurt her again, that his world would be a better place if she were in it, and most importantly, that things would be different this time.
And, unfortunately for the frog, he was very convincing, eroding all of the healthy skepticism that the frog had spent many months building in anticipation of an encounter just like this one. Much to the dismay of her frog girlfriends, who had spent months counseling against this very thing. But the frog was insecure about her prospects of finding an appropriate frog to play with, much more insecure than she let on, and the validation of his attention was just too tempting to resist. Especially after 3 margaritas and a six-pack of beer.
But most importantly, she thought she could ignore the bad, take the good, and just have a casual fling with the scorpion until she was ready to move on. This time, thought the frog, SHE would be in control, NOT him. And that would somehow make all the difference.
For a time, it was wonderful. The scorpion was behaving toward her just the way she had always hoped. And the frog, being the forgiving being she is, found it so much easier to just decide that everyone deserved a clean slate and a second (or 500th) chance. The frog was wary but in the brief moments where she wasn't paying vigilant attention, slowly falling under the scorpion's spell once again. It was just like before, but different. Better. The scorpion took her to dinner (where, unlike before, he paid like a gentle-scorpion), introduced her to his friends, they watched football, he complimented her constantly.
But the cracks were always underneath the surface.
Mysterious phone calls late at night.
Sleepovers several nights in a row, followed by a week of little to no contact. Defensiveness when questioned about where he might have been putting his stinger. Because, casual or no, our frog tries to be a mature, responsible frog. And the scorpion had promised to be scrupulously honest. From now on, forevermore.
In response, the scorpion asked lots of questions about the frog's whereabouts, including whether she was doing anything of note with frog princes, but volunteered little information about his own activities.
The scorpion also badgered the frog about whether she loved the scorpion, as if a few weeks of charm would be more than enough to erase all of the bad memories that had killed everything but her physical attraction. In an unguarded moment, he claimed to love her, although he quickly covered with an inappropriate joke. The frog, refusing to engage, ignored all emotional entreaties.
This seemed to throw the scorpion. After all, head games had always worked with our fair frog before. If he screwed up, or screwed her over again, no reason to think she wouldn't give him still another chance.
Because he is a scorpion.
It's not malicious.
But it is his nature.
He will never change.
But he will kill you.
**********
That is, if you are not smart enough to recognize his pattern, and his stinger, and run like hell in the other direction. Which, hopefully, our frog is. Or will be, very soon.
**********
And that, my friends, is the slightly less-well known fable of Flirty and Mr. Mindfuck.
Epilogue to be announced.
**********
One day, a scorpion looked around at the mountain where he lived and decided that he wanted a change. So he set out on a journey through the forests and hills. He climbed over rocks and under vines and kept going until he reached a river.
The river was wide and swift, and the scorpion stopped to reconsider the situation. He couldn't see any way across. So he ran upriver and then checked downriver, all the while thinking that he might have to turn back.
Suddenly, he saw a frog sitting in the rushes by the bank of the stream on the other side of the river. He decided to ask the frog for help getting across the stream.
"Hellooo Mr. Frog!" called the scorpion across the water, "Would you be so kind as to give me a ride on your back across the river?"
"Well now, Mr. Scorpion! How do I know that if I try to help you, you won't try to kill me?" asked the frog hesitantly.
"Because," the scorpion replied, "If I try to kill you, then I would die too, for you see I cannot swim!"
Now this seemed to make sense to the frog. But he asked. "What about when I get close to the bank? You could still try to kill me and get back to the shore!"
"This is true," agreed the scorpion, "But then I wouldn't be able to get to the other side of the river!"
"Alright then...how do I know you won't just wait till we get to the other side and THEN kill me?" said the frog.
"Ahh...," crooned the scorpion, "Because you see, once you've taken me to the other side of this river, I will be so grateful for your help, that it would hardly be fair to reward you with death, now would it?!"
So the frog agreed to take the scorpion across the river. He swam over to the bank and settled himself near the mud to pick up his passenger. The scorpion crawled onto the frog's back, his sharp claws prickling into the frog's soft hide, and the frog slid into the river. The muddy water swirled around them, but the frog stayed near the surface so the scorpion would not drown. He kicked strongly through the first half of the stream, his flippers paddling wildly against the current.
Halfway across the river, the frog suddenly felt a sharp sting in his back and, out of the corner of his eye, saw the scorpion remove his stinger from the frog's back. A deadening numbness began to creep into his limbs.
"You fool!" croaked the frog, "Now we shall both die! Why on earth did you do that?"
The scorpion shrugged, and did a little jig on the drownings frog's back.
"I could not help myself. It is my nature."
Then they both sank into the muddy waters of the swiftly flowing river.
**********
I remember this fable from when I was a child. I remember thinking, that was one stupid frog, what could it have been thinking! Obviously the frog was going to end up dead in the water. Literally. I mean duh. Anyone with half a brain could see that the scorpion was just using the frog.
But that was before I grew up to become a Main Street Glamour Girl. Now I know what that frog's problem was, and I have a lot more sympathy for her.
Sex.
Sex was that frog's problem. Really good sex, and emotional manipulation at the highest level. In today's urban parlance, it's called getting played.
I think the story may have gone something like this.
The frog had a fling with the scorpion back in the day. First, the scorpion charmed her and made her feel like the center of his world, and that he would be lost without her. He also convinced the frog that what they had was so precious, it should be their little secret. The frog reluctantly agreed. After all, the scorpion was smart, and charming, and attentive, and the frog had been alone for a very long time. So long that the frog began to wonder what was wrong with her, began to doubt that anyone would ever love her, meaty legs and all. And so the frog fell under the scorpion's spell, even becoming convinced that maybe she shouldn't be so open with people about her happiness, that maybe the scorpion was right, that she talked too much about her personal life, and that maybe she should be more private, especially where the scorpion was concerned.
Once she was good and hooked, he lied to her, over and over, and used her for personal gain, and broke her heart. All of the other frogs were baffled and worried. They all liked the frog, for she was good-hearted and kind, and thought she could do better than this scorpion who made her so unhappy and so unsure of her own worth. After all, most people would have run away from the scorpion, and turned a deaf ear to his lame, if occasionally creative, excuses for his assorted misdeeds. And this particular frog was a no-bullshit kind of frog, not usually so easily manipulated. But the frog, under the powerful spell of the scorpion, was habitually forgiving. A better phrase might be pathologically forgiving. A doormat, if you will. She desperately wanted to believe that the scorpion was misguided rather than malicious, and that if she gave it enough time, that things would get better. The scorpion would right himself and then it wouldn't sting so badly anymore.
Not that the frog didn't stand up for herself occasionally.
She told him to get lost, more than once, but never completely cut the stinger out of her back.
So she moved far far away and had the time of her life. She had such the time of her life, and felt so strong, and so powerful, she thought she could handle a little bit of scorpion back in her life. Because the scorpion was charming, exciting, and just a little bit dangerous, not to mention forbidden. He also made her feel oh so needed, and pretty, and wanted, and a little bit less lonely when she moved yet again to a new river valley to take a high-pressured job at a well-respected lilypad factory. He promised that he had turned over a new leaf, that he would never hurt her again, that his world would be a better place if she were in it, and most importantly, that things would be different this time.
And, unfortunately for the frog, he was very convincing, eroding all of the healthy skepticism that the frog had spent many months building in anticipation of an encounter just like this one. Much to the dismay of her frog girlfriends, who had spent months counseling against this very thing. But the frog was insecure about her prospects of finding an appropriate frog to play with, much more insecure than she let on, and the validation of his attention was just too tempting to resist. Especially after 3 margaritas and a six-pack of beer.
But most importantly, she thought she could ignore the bad, take the good, and just have a casual fling with the scorpion until she was ready to move on. This time, thought the frog, SHE would be in control, NOT him. And that would somehow make all the difference.
For a time, it was wonderful. The scorpion was behaving toward her just the way she had always hoped. And the frog, being the forgiving being she is, found it so much easier to just decide that everyone deserved a clean slate and a second (or 500th) chance. The frog was wary but in the brief moments where she wasn't paying vigilant attention, slowly falling under the scorpion's spell once again. It was just like before, but different. Better. The scorpion took her to dinner (where, unlike before, he paid like a gentle-scorpion), introduced her to his friends, they watched football, he complimented her constantly.
But the cracks were always underneath the surface.
Mysterious phone calls late at night.
Sleepovers several nights in a row, followed by a week of little to no contact. Defensiveness when questioned about where he might have been putting his stinger. Because, casual or no, our frog tries to be a mature, responsible frog. And the scorpion had promised to be scrupulously honest. From now on, forevermore.
In response, the scorpion asked lots of questions about the frog's whereabouts, including whether she was doing anything of note with frog princes, but volunteered little information about his own activities.
The scorpion also badgered the frog about whether she loved the scorpion, as if a few weeks of charm would be more than enough to erase all of the bad memories that had killed everything but her physical attraction. In an unguarded moment, he claimed to love her, although he quickly covered with an inappropriate joke. The frog, refusing to engage, ignored all emotional entreaties.
This seemed to throw the scorpion. After all, head games had always worked with our fair frog before. If he screwed up, or screwed her over again, no reason to think she wouldn't give him still another chance.
Because he is a scorpion.
It's not malicious.
But it is his nature.
He will never change.
But he will kill you.
**********
That is, if you are not smart enough to recognize his pattern, and his stinger, and run like hell in the other direction. Which, hopefully, our frog is. Or will be, very soon.
**********
And that, my friends, is the slightly less-well known fable of Flirty and Mr. Mindfuck.
Epilogue to be announced.
Monday, October 22, 2007
When It Rains, It Pours... By Bossy
Sassy's post had such a perfect title, that I had to steal it for my own.
Indeed, it does tend to pour.
I have had quite the dry spell lately, as far as real "dates" go. Since ending it with Spock, aka Jake Brigance, I have not had any dates. Could be my new job which has turned me into a stress ball with no time at all. Well, maybe not so much the job as it is the bosses who are killing me. Never before have I doubted myself as much as I have in the past few weeks. Bad for the morale, they are. And bad for the blog posting, both in terms of time and creativity. My well runneth dry, or something like that...
But who wants to hear me vent about work!? Not you, I hear. You rather know who is stomping around in my world, creating drama, causing problems. Oh, that could be ME doing that to myself.
One of my most recent posts ("recent" is used quite loosely, I admit) mentioned the Italian. But he has been renamed as the Pope. For reason(s) I will not divulge. Let me give you the back story, then I'll update you on our current, flirty little fling goings-ons.
About a month ago, my friend (hhmmm, she needs a nickname. and she is a regular reader. I'll have to think of something...), for now we will call her the Match Maker, connected the Pope and I via email. He being across the country, we began a "long-distance, online relationship." By relationship, you know I don't mean a real relationship. More of a, um, strong flirtatious constant stream of communication. It's been unlike any other way I have ever gotten to know someone. It's amazing what the distance, the inability to see each other in person, can do. I got to know him better than maybe any other person I have ever dated, at least, I know him better than I have ever known another boy after a month or so. Much better. I know about his past, his future plans, his past relationships, his favorite food, drink, dessert, music, hobbies, pet-name, jeans, and more. We had dates #1, 2 and 3 planned out for when he moved back to my city. I found myself opening up to him, making myself much more vulnerable than I tend to do, until it all came crashing down on me....
The flipside of the open communication, is that sometimes too much is said. Somehow, someway, (brace yourself), we got on a topic that should NOT be discussed by people who have never been within a thousand miles of each other. With my typical bossy, contrary attitude, put up against his bossy, contrary attitude, our fast forward "online relationship" came to a screeching halt.
Was I sad? A little. Was I disappointed? Yes. But, really, was I pissed? YES YES YES.
My stubborness kicked in, and I refused to call him. [as a side note, my stubborness, went put up against his, creates quite the funny scenario.]
He emailed, and called, and we talked enough that our date was back on.
So he moved back about a week ago. We had our first 'meeting" at a Starbucks on Wednesday, then our first date on Friday.
A date that was a blast, even if I somewhat misbehaved. But he apparently still likes me, because he asked me over last night to hang out and play Guitar Hero (I LOVE that game now!).
I like this guy a lot. I'm a little "glass is half empty" right now so not confident it will work out. But regardless, I'm having fun.
So where does the pouring rain come into play?
The Comedian introduced me to his friend last week, who asked me to lunch. A lunch date? That's new. I'm going, but really, I expect very little. He's a nice guy and I enjoy talking to him, but I don't find myself thinking (ahem, obsessing) about him like I do the Pope.
More to come when things start to pan out. Are you having flashbacks?
Indeed, it does tend to pour.
I have had quite the dry spell lately, as far as real "dates" go. Since ending it with Spock, aka Jake Brigance, I have not had any dates. Could be my new job which has turned me into a stress ball with no time at all. Well, maybe not so much the job as it is the bosses who are killing me. Never before have I doubted myself as much as I have in the past few weeks. Bad for the morale, they are. And bad for the blog posting, both in terms of time and creativity. My well runneth dry, or something like that...
But who wants to hear me vent about work!? Not you, I hear. You rather know who is stomping around in my world, creating drama, causing problems. Oh, that could be ME doing that to myself.
One of my most recent posts ("recent" is used quite loosely, I admit) mentioned the Italian. But he has been renamed as the Pope. For reason(s) I will not divulge. Let me give you the back story, then I'll update you on our current, flirty little fling goings-ons.
About a month ago, my friend (hhmmm, she needs a nickname. and she is a regular reader. I'll have to think of something...), for now we will call her the Match Maker, connected the Pope and I via email. He being across the country, we began a "long-distance, online relationship." By relationship, you know I don't mean a real relationship. More of a, um, strong flirtatious constant stream of communication. It's been unlike any other way I have ever gotten to know someone. It's amazing what the distance, the inability to see each other in person, can do. I got to know him better than maybe any other person I have ever dated, at least, I know him better than I have ever known another boy after a month or so. Much better. I know about his past, his future plans, his past relationships, his favorite food, drink, dessert, music, hobbies, pet-name, jeans, and more. We had dates #1, 2 and 3 planned out for when he moved back to my city. I found myself opening up to him, making myself much more vulnerable than I tend to do, until it all came crashing down on me....
The flipside of the open communication, is that sometimes too much is said. Somehow, someway, (brace yourself), we got on a topic that should NOT be discussed by people who have never been within a thousand miles of each other. With my typical bossy, contrary attitude, put up against his bossy, contrary attitude, our fast forward "online relationship" came to a screeching halt.
Was I sad? A little. Was I disappointed? Yes. But, really, was I pissed? YES YES YES.
My stubborness kicked in, and I refused to call him. [as a side note, my stubborness, went put up against his, creates quite the funny scenario.]
He emailed, and called, and we talked enough that our date was back on.
So he moved back about a week ago. We had our first 'meeting" at a Starbucks on Wednesday, then our first date on Friday.
A date that was a blast, even if I somewhat misbehaved. But he apparently still likes me, because he asked me over last night to hang out and play Guitar Hero (I LOVE that game now!).
I like this guy a lot. I'm a little "glass is half empty" right now so not confident it will work out. But regardless, I'm having fun.
So where does the pouring rain come into play?
The Comedian introduced me to his friend last week, who asked me to lunch. A lunch date? That's new. I'm going, but really, I expect very little. He's a nice guy and I enjoy talking to him, but I don't find myself thinking (ahem, obsessing) about him like I do the Pope.
More to come when things start to pan out. Are you having flashbacks?
Saturday, October 13, 2007
When it Rains, it Pours...by Sassy
[Ed. note: Sassy rightly called both of us out for our shocking lack of posts lately. The short answer is that Bossy and I have been sadly separated due to my move across the country, and we each started new jobs, so our ability to get into trouble with the fellas has been sadly underwhelming. We expect things to pick up shortly, but in the meantime, we are happy that Sassy is picking up the slack, so here she is, back by popular demand!]
For those of you who don't know (which is everyone but Flirty and Bossy) I play in a co-ed league of a certain popular alternative sport (no, nothing dirty, so get your minds out of the gutter). Normally, I play on a team with friends from my school days. Well, the couple I most enjoy playing with is seriously pregnant, so, even though they played through her 5th month in summer league, they were out for fall leage. Another good friend I like to play with is moving to the big city this month to live in the same city as his fiance, so he was out, too. So I decided that, for this season, I was going to sign up without any "baggage" (people I want to play with) and use this as an opportunity to meet new people and make new friends. Who knew how well this would work out...
This sport involves a lot of running and sprinting, so my normal "outfit" on Saturday afternoons is a t-shirt, shorts, minimal to no makeup, and my hair in a pony tail with a head band pulling back my bangs (which are the absolute worst length for this look, so they end up sticking up off the top of my head). And don't forget the red face from the exertion. Hot, I know :)
The second week of the season, I was talking on the sidelines to the captain of our team (let's call him the Photographer since he takes pictures all during the games and posts them on the web for us to admire). I thought he was cute, but, because I knew I was not looking too great, didn't put too much flirting into the talk. Evidently, that method works!
Two days later, he requested to chat on my gmail account. We talked all day long, and by the afternoon, he was asking me out to dinner that night after work. At one point, during the flirting and sarcastic comments online, he even said, "You're pretty sassy, aren't you?" If he only knew! Go Sassy!
By the way, in the pictures he posted from that 2nd game, there is a picture of me guarding someone on the other team and the caption he added to the picture is "The Hotness that is our D"
We went out that night and had a great time. We went out again Saturday night (by going out, I grilled steaks and we watched movies on my couch) after our game. I got a good night kiss as he was leaving (yes, we behaved ourselves!) and we've talked online nearly everyday since. Unfortunately, he was out of town last weekend, so we didn't get to go out, and he's also out of town this weekend visiting a very sick friend. So no new dates with the Photographer--but we're definitely still interested.
Fast forward to yesterday, when I got an email from ANOTHER guy on my team, the Teacher (he teaches the same foreign language I'm licensed to teach, if I hadn't decided that I hated teaching). Apologizing for asking over email, but having no other way to get in touch with me before Saturday's game, he asked (in a very sweet and cute manner) if I would go to his high school dance with him. He just got asked on Wednesday to be a chaperone for homecoming this Saturday.
My dilemma: I definitely like the Photographer better, but if he wasn't in the picture, I think I would be interested in the Teacher. And since the Photographer and I aren't that serious, I normally wouldn't have a problem going out with both of them. BUT, since they both play on my team, that could make Saturday afternoons slightly awkward!
So, I decided not to tell the Teacher that I was dating someone else and couldn't go out with him, or that I'm not interested. I thanked him for the invite and told him, honestly, that I already had concert tickets that night, so I wouldn't be able to go.
Who knew that I am most attractive to men with no makeup, workout clothes, a red face and terrible hair??? Maybe I should start going to the bars dressed like that?
For those of you who don't know (which is everyone but Flirty and Bossy) I play in a co-ed league of a certain popular alternative sport (no, nothing dirty, so get your minds out of the gutter). Normally, I play on a team with friends from my school days. Well, the couple I most enjoy playing with is seriously pregnant, so, even though they played through her 5th month in summer league, they were out for fall leage. Another good friend I like to play with is moving to the big city this month to live in the same city as his fiance, so he was out, too. So I decided that, for this season, I was going to sign up without any "baggage" (people I want to play with) and use this as an opportunity to meet new people and make new friends. Who knew how well this would work out...
This sport involves a lot of running and sprinting, so my normal "outfit" on Saturday afternoons is a t-shirt, shorts, minimal to no makeup, and my hair in a pony tail with a head band pulling back my bangs (which are the absolute worst length for this look, so they end up sticking up off the top of my head). And don't forget the red face from the exertion. Hot, I know :)
The second week of the season, I was talking on the sidelines to the captain of our team (let's call him the Photographer since he takes pictures all during the games and posts them on the web for us to admire). I thought he was cute, but, because I knew I was not looking too great, didn't put too much flirting into the talk. Evidently, that method works!
Two days later, he requested to chat on my gmail account. We talked all day long, and by the afternoon, he was asking me out to dinner that night after work. At one point, during the flirting and sarcastic comments online, he even said, "You're pretty sassy, aren't you?" If he only knew! Go Sassy!
By the way, in the pictures he posted from that 2nd game, there is a picture of me guarding someone on the other team and the caption he added to the picture is "The Hotness that is our D"
We went out that night and had a great time. We went out again Saturday night (by going out, I grilled steaks and we watched movies on my couch) after our game. I got a good night kiss as he was leaving (yes, we behaved ourselves!) and we've talked online nearly everyday since. Unfortunately, he was out of town last weekend, so we didn't get to go out, and he's also out of town this weekend visiting a very sick friend. So no new dates with the Photographer--but we're definitely still interested.
Fast forward to yesterday, when I got an email from ANOTHER guy on my team, the Teacher (he teaches the same foreign language I'm licensed to teach, if I hadn't decided that I hated teaching). Apologizing for asking over email, but having no other way to get in touch with me before Saturday's game, he asked (in a very sweet and cute manner) if I would go to his high school dance with him. He just got asked on Wednesday to be a chaperone for homecoming this Saturday.
My dilemma: I definitely like the Photographer better, but if he wasn't in the picture, I think I would be interested in the Teacher. And since the Photographer and I aren't that serious, I normally wouldn't have a problem going out with both of them. BUT, since they both play on my team, that could make Saturday afternoons slightly awkward!
So, I decided not to tell the Teacher that I was dating someone else and couldn't go out with him, or that I'm not interested. I thanked him for the invite and told him, honestly, that I already had concert tickets that night, so I wouldn't be able to go.
Who knew that I am most attractive to men with no makeup, workout clothes, a red face and terrible hair??? Maybe I should start going to the bars dressed like that?
Thursday, October 11, 2007
A Ghost from the Past
As long as I don't write about him multiple times, I am allowed to discuss Blazer Boy in just one update.
He randomly texted me tonight. Inquiring about life, work, weekend. Said my name had come up at dinner. And that he hopes to "c" me soon.
Just his style - appear on his own time, disappear on his own time.
He randomly texted me tonight. Inquiring about life, work, weekend. Said my name had come up at dinner. And that he hopes to "c" me soon.
Just his style - appear on his own time, disappear on his own time.
Thursday, September 20, 2007
Bossy Is Back In Her Groove
I'm not really sure if it's a good groove or a bad groove. But I do know that I have been deliriously happily busy these past couple of weeks. I am about to go to bed, so I have very little time. Maybe I'll expand more later. But for now:
1. I took a Lear Jet ride to a very popular college football game last weekend. Yes, on a Lear. It's a lifestyle that I could sooo get used to. Except that it would be a life with a 60 year old. NOT. SO. MUCH. MY. STYLE. He's older than my dad.
2. Jake Brigance has a new nickname. It's now Spock. As in, Flirty decided he is like a Vulcan. For those of you unfamiliar with Star Trek, basically that means someone who goes through life emotionless.
But then, I ran into Spock/Jake tonight at a happy hour event. After some small talk, then some time apart, he proceeded to stay glued to my side for the rest of our time there. To the point that my friends were frantically trying to save me.
He then called me TWICE after he got home. And my lame-o ass answered. Like an idiot. And now I may have plans with him on Sunday.
It may be because he heard that I was going out with a guy on Friday. The story was somewhat "embellished" to him and he doesn't know that it's actually a night out with the Yankee - who obviously is not available to me - but still, seems that Spock got a tad bit jealous.
I'd also like to point out this blog post. Because OMG it is so freakingly similar to our situation that I can't stand it.
Not sure why I can't cut ties with Spock completely. Objectively, this is not a good thing for me to worry my little head about. I know he's emotionally unavailable, and I should continue being Cool Girl (I use the word "continue" loosely, b/c friends will attest that tonight I was not very cool by talking to him all night). But there is something that keeps me from making the complete break. Challenge maybe? Or connection?
And the petty side of me is secretly a little pleased that he pulled a muscle in his back, and has been forced to stop triathalon raining for a few days. That serves him right, if you ask me. He should really be more flexible (not physically, but with his schedule) and take rest days.
3. Speaking of the Yankee, I continue to hang out with him. I continue to like him. But he has that girlfriend. So I've resigned myself to just be his friend. That's all.
Tonight was fun with the Yankee though. And I had the chance to play pool, and he liked my skills on the table.
4. There is a new guy. I'm thinking of a nickname for him - for now let's call him the Italian. He's a friend of a friend, moving back to our city in about a month... We've been emailing and he's nice. Maybe something will come of it??? Maybe no. But I am quite entertained by our email exchange.
5. Oh, you can be so proud of me! The Wannabe tried to get me out tonight, and I said NO. Not going to waste my time with those whom I am sure that I would not be interested in more than one date with.
6. I met a politician at that football game. Let's call him the Politician. He tried calling and texting me tonight... But he lives about 400 miles away...
1. I took a Lear Jet ride to a very popular college football game last weekend. Yes, on a Lear. It's a lifestyle that I could sooo get used to. Except that it would be a life with a 60 year old. NOT. SO. MUCH. MY. STYLE. He's older than my dad.
2. Jake Brigance has a new nickname. It's now Spock. As in, Flirty decided he is like a Vulcan. For those of you unfamiliar with Star Trek, basically that means someone who goes through life emotionless.
But then, I ran into Spock/Jake tonight at a happy hour event. After some small talk, then some time apart, he proceeded to stay glued to my side for the rest of our time there. To the point that my friends were frantically trying to save me.
He then called me TWICE after he got home. And my lame-o ass answered. Like an idiot. And now I may have plans with him on Sunday.
It may be because he heard that I was going out with a guy on Friday. The story was somewhat "embellished" to him and he doesn't know that it's actually a night out with the Yankee - who obviously is not available to me - but still, seems that Spock got a tad bit jealous.
I'd also like to point out this blog post. Because OMG it is so freakingly similar to our situation that I can't stand it.
Not sure why I can't cut ties with Spock completely. Objectively, this is not a good thing for me to worry my little head about. I know he's emotionally unavailable, and I should continue being Cool Girl (I use the word "continue" loosely, b/c friends will attest that tonight I was not very cool by talking to him all night). But there is something that keeps me from making the complete break. Challenge maybe? Or connection?
And the petty side of me is secretly a little pleased that he pulled a muscle in his back, and has been forced to stop triathalon raining for a few days. That serves him right, if you ask me. He should really be more flexible (not physically, but with his schedule) and take rest days.
3. Speaking of the Yankee, I continue to hang out with him. I continue to like him. But he has that girlfriend. So I've resigned myself to just be his friend. That's all.
Tonight was fun with the Yankee though. And I had the chance to play pool, and he liked my skills on the table.
4. There is a new guy. I'm thinking of a nickname for him - for now let's call him the Italian. He's a friend of a friend, moving back to our city in about a month... We've been emailing and he's nice. Maybe something will come of it??? Maybe no. But I am quite entertained by our email exchange.
5. Oh, you can be so proud of me! The Wannabe tried to get me out tonight, and I said NO. Not going to waste my time with those whom I am sure that I would not be interested in more than one date with.
6. I met a politician at that football game. Let's call him the Politician. He tried calling and texting me tonight... But he lives about 400 miles away...
Wednesday, September 19, 2007
The Lumberjack who stalked me
So as seen from my previous post, you might be getting the impression that I am somewhat of a magnet for attracting random men who have novel (or scary) pickup lines and who are extremely persistent.
You would be right.
My polite midwestern upbringing is partially to blame, because apparently even when I think I am being bitchy and standoffish, my friends have informed me that it's not so successful.
But that alone cannot explain incidents like The Lumberjack.
I went out to one of the trendy 'burbs of my new city to meet an old friend from college for brunch, gossip, and shopping. So far so good right? It was one of those picture perfect fall days in a quaint old town with brick streets, good restaurants and the aforementioned shopping. When we were done, my friend (we'll call her The Event Planner) and I parted ways and I made my way back to the train station.
Enter The Lumberjack.
I was walking down the street, lost in my own thoughts and minding my own business, when an older man said hello to me. I automatically said hello back and kept walking.
He turned around and walked back toward me and said, "Hey can I ask you a question?" "Are you married?"
I replied no.
"Do you have a boyfriend?"
I replied yes. This is a complete and utter lie, but my usual default when I sense a persistent come on that I am wholly uninterested in.
"Oh, bummer. Is it a committed relationship?"
Yes. (Another lie).
"Can I just tell you something? I don't want you to think I'm a creepy sex maniac or anything, but I just have to tell you that you have the most beautiful backside of any woman I have ever seen."
Me: Gaping shock, complete loss of words for any kind of appropriate response
But he doesn't stop there.
"Do you get hit on a lot by guys in the street? I bet you do."
(Well yes, this is true, and I am still not sure why. Any "backside" I might possess cannot possibly be a complete explanation for such weirdness.)
"Do you get hit on by more black guys or white guys?" (For the record, this fellow was white. Which did make it unusual. Far it be from me to perpetuate a stereotype, but in my personal experience, I get many more, shall we say positive, comments on my, um, backside, from black men than white.)
He proceeded to walk me to the train station, the better apparently to plead his case for our future. I found out a variety of unsolicited information about him, such as:
He is a lumberjack. He currently makes $9.88 an hour but is supposed to get a raise to $11/hour soon.
He is a weightlifter and can bench press 300 pounds.
He is the 13th of 14 children. The 14th is actually his nephew who was adopted by his parents and is allegedly a raging alcoholic who cannot run his life.
He is 49 years old and has never been married. If he had it to do over again he would go to college.
He had gone to some sort of New Age-y church that morning.
He would like to have children someday and inquired about my plans to do so.
Interspersed in all of this biographical information were many comments about how he just couldn't get over what a great butt I had, that he was a "butt man," how I looked "physical," how much I weighed (um, as IF I would ever in a million years tell him, although he was happy to tell me he was "six three 240", that I carried my weight really well, and that he doesn't like how skinny girls are today), whether my boyfriend was white or black, etc. etc.
Then, when I was finally about to break free...
"So, if you didn't have a boyfriend that you were seriously considering marrying would you give me your number?"
(Um. No.)
"Do you ever think you'll come out here again? How can I see you?"
(Um. You can't.)
"Can I at least get a hug?"
(Um. NO NO NO.)
Finally I made my escape. I think my next project is to befriend a cop who will find me a taser to carry. Because obviously my "bitchy" look just ain't cutting it.
You would be right.
My polite midwestern upbringing is partially to blame, because apparently even when I think I am being bitchy and standoffish, my friends have informed me that it's not so successful.
But that alone cannot explain incidents like The Lumberjack.
I went out to one of the trendy 'burbs of my new city to meet an old friend from college for brunch, gossip, and shopping. So far so good right? It was one of those picture perfect fall days in a quaint old town with brick streets, good restaurants and the aforementioned shopping. When we were done, my friend (we'll call her The Event Planner) and I parted ways and I made my way back to the train station.
Enter The Lumberjack.
I was walking down the street, lost in my own thoughts and minding my own business, when an older man said hello to me. I automatically said hello back and kept walking.
He turned around and walked back toward me and said, "Hey can I ask you a question?" "Are you married?"
I replied no.
"Do you have a boyfriend?"
I replied yes. This is a complete and utter lie, but my usual default when I sense a persistent come on that I am wholly uninterested in.
"Oh, bummer. Is it a committed relationship?"
Yes. (Another lie).
"Can I just tell you something? I don't want you to think I'm a creepy sex maniac or anything, but I just have to tell you that you have the most beautiful backside of any woman I have ever seen."
Me: Gaping shock, complete loss of words for any kind of appropriate response
But he doesn't stop there.
"Do you get hit on a lot by guys in the street? I bet you do."
(Well yes, this is true, and I am still not sure why. Any "backside" I might possess cannot possibly be a complete explanation for such weirdness.)
"Do you get hit on by more black guys or white guys?" (For the record, this fellow was white. Which did make it unusual. Far it be from me to perpetuate a stereotype, but in my personal experience, I get many more, shall we say positive, comments on my, um, backside, from black men than white.)
He proceeded to walk me to the train station, the better apparently to plead his case for our future. I found out a variety of unsolicited information about him, such as:
He is a lumberjack. He currently makes $9.88 an hour but is supposed to get a raise to $11/hour soon.
He is a weightlifter and can bench press 300 pounds.
He is the 13th of 14 children. The 14th is actually his nephew who was adopted by his parents and is allegedly a raging alcoholic who cannot run his life.
He is 49 years old and has never been married. If he had it to do over again he would go to college.
He had gone to some sort of New Age-y church that morning.
He would like to have children someday and inquired about my plans to do so.
Interspersed in all of this biographical information were many comments about how he just couldn't get over what a great butt I had, that he was a "butt man," how I looked "physical," how much I weighed (um, as IF I would ever in a million years tell him, although he was happy to tell me he was "six three 240", that I carried my weight really well, and that he doesn't like how skinny girls are today), whether my boyfriend was white or black, etc. etc.
Then, when I was finally about to break free...
"So, if you didn't have a boyfriend that you were seriously considering marrying would you give me your number?"
(Um. No.)
"Do you ever think you'll come out here again? How can I see you?"
(Um. You can't.)
"Can I at least get a hug?"
(Um. NO NO NO.)
Finally I made my escape. I think my next project is to befriend a cop who will find me a taser to carry. Because obviously my "bitchy" look just ain't cutting it.
Wednesday, September 12, 2007
I'm Alive, I Promise!
As Bossy ever so eloquently pointed out, I have neglected this blog for quite some time now. I usually don't feel too bad because Bossy has MORE than enough stories to keep you entertained all by her bad self, but she is right, I am co-author and should be more involved.
After all, it's not for lack of stories to tell.
BUT.
I recently moved cross-country to a large East Coast city, so my life has pretty much been consumed by that lately. Add some computer troubles to that and you'll see why the blogging pickin's have been slim on my end. I PROMISE that will change soon, and I will update you shortly on the long-promised Boy Toy story.
In the meantime, here are two little gems from the couple of days I have been here.
#1: As I was walking home Monday night around 11 PM, a construction worker asked me out on a date. Not "woo-hoo your ass is fine can I follow it home and make a woman out of you" as you might expect, but an actual "You're beautiful, can I take you to dinner?" I said no, of course (although Bossy contends I MUST have been too nice and friendly and need to be bitchier, except in bars where I am supposed to be even Flirtier), but after a long few days of decidedly unglamorous unpacking and organizing, I have to say it WAS nice to hear. Here's hoping it's a sign of better times to come.
#2: As I was walking into Target yesterday, a man passed me and exclaimed, "DAMNNNNN, gurrll, those are some pretty hips you got. Mmm Mmm MMM!!!!"
WTF? Pretty hips? Hips can be pretty? I am seriously confused.
Anyway, now that I'm in a higher traffic zone, expect some good stories from these pretty hips once I get settled and rolling, Flirty-style.
After all, it's not for lack of stories to tell.
BUT.
I recently moved cross-country to a large East Coast city, so my life has pretty much been consumed by that lately. Add some computer troubles to that and you'll see why the blogging pickin's have been slim on my end. I PROMISE that will change soon, and I will update you shortly on the long-promised Boy Toy story.
In the meantime, here are two little gems from the couple of days I have been here.
#1: As I was walking home Monday night around 11 PM, a construction worker asked me out on a date. Not "woo-hoo your ass is fine can I follow it home and make a woman out of you" as you might expect, but an actual "You're beautiful, can I take you to dinner?" I said no, of course (although Bossy contends I MUST have been too nice and friendly and need to be bitchier, except in bars where I am supposed to be even Flirtier), but after a long few days of decidedly unglamorous unpacking and organizing, I have to say it WAS nice to hear. Here's hoping it's a sign of better times to come.
#2: As I was walking into Target yesterday, a man passed me and exclaimed, "DAMNNNNN, gurrll, those are some pretty hips you got. Mmm Mmm MMM!!!!"
WTF? Pretty hips? Hips can be pretty? I am seriously confused.
Anyway, now that I'm in a higher traffic zone, expect some good stories from these pretty hips once I get settled and rolling, Flirty-style.
Sunday, September 9, 2007
I'm Not Always Such a Downer
You probably have noticed that I have been involved in much sadness/drama/etc. It's really not the norm for me. In fact, I can't think of anytime in my entire life that I have had so many major things happen at once.
It's been one of those times when you think, OK, nothing else bad can happen. And then it does. I've wondered what I did to deserve all of this bad karma.
As for my dad, I haven't heard from him. Today was the "deadline," and because he never called, I refuses to speak anymore of him. Nor will I make any effort to communicate with him. So please refrain from mentioning him to me. Thanks so much...
Finally, however, the saying "things can only get better" rings true. I received a bit of good news on Friday. Actually, FABULOUS news. It's still "secret" so I can't discuss details, but IF it happens, I'll be one happy little Bossy.
Until I get confirmation, I'll try to put on a happy face for you!!!!
First, there was a talk with Jake Brigance on Friday, and it was basically me making it MORE clear that I can't date him. Not with his back-and-forth emotional game playing. He wants to be "friends." I did see him today at an event, and he was friendly enough. I was apathetic and distant, though polite and nice. He also asked about the wedding I went to last night. The wedding HE was supposed to go to with me. I took my friend, the Pilot, instead. And the Comedian was there. The three of us had a blast. So really, I'm quite glad Jake didn't go. He would've definitely been more of a downer, and the fun dancing that was had last night maybe wouldn't have happened. (on a side note, the Comedian is turning out to be a great, fun friend... He's going to be a good wingman...)
Jake also ended our Friday conversations with this... I had said, "sorry things didn't work out." He replied, "I don't know that I would say it didn't work out. I'm just in a place right now that makes me need to pull away." To me, that's him trying to string me along a little. Not going to work. I'm moving on...
...to, the Yankee. Yes, we have a new character in our on-going tales of the single life. He was originally referred to as Hot Neighbor (not on this blog, just in general), but that is such a generic term. So now, he's the Yankee. Because he is a Northerner. Also fairly generic, but it's a good way to refer to him. He just moved into my building. We met by the elevator, saw each other on the street. We exchanged apartment numbers, in attempt for him to meet new people since he's new to town.
I really didn't think much of it, either because things like that rarely materialize, or because I was too wrapped up in the silly behavior of Jake Brigance.
Then last night.... As I stood, NAKED, by my apartment door (INSIDE the door people, I'm not running naked through the halls), putting laundry into the dryer, the Yankee knocked on my door.
Oh, if cameras could've caught my reaction. My first response was to FREEZE. Then the Angels materialize.... Evil angel says, pull a Samantha and open the door naked (such a durrty Angel, she is...). Good Angel says to pretend to be not at home. Single, fun-loving, boy-crazy, Bossy Angel says, tiptoe away from the door, grab your cute little robe, and answer the door.
Of COURSE I listened to Single Angel. I finally got to the door, opened it, and to my amusement saw his reaction at seeing Bossy in her cute little robe. A mix of embarrassment, shock, curiosity...
I explained I was about to get in the shower and get ready for a wedding. He said he just wanted to stop by and say hi, because he has been out of town for awhile and hadn't had the chance to do so yet.
We then exchanged numbers. And proceeded to fall into a VERY comfortable 10-minute conversation. He is just as talkative and out-going as I am, people. A nice change from up-tight Jake Brigance. In that mere 10 minutes, we managed to learn much about each other. Amazing. I fell in love, right there on the spot, in the cute little robe.
Unfortunately, I have no idea if he fell in love. Nor am I clear as to whether he is interested, or just wants to make new friends.... Stay tuned to find out, I guess!
(p.s. If Flirty doesn't post SOON, I'm divorcing her.)
It's been one of those times when you think, OK, nothing else bad can happen. And then it does. I've wondered what I did to deserve all of this bad karma.
As for my dad, I haven't heard from him. Today was the "deadline," and because he never called, I refuses to speak anymore of him. Nor will I make any effort to communicate with him. So please refrain from mentioning him to me. Thanks so much...
Finally, however, the saying "things can only get better" rings true. I received a bit of good news on Friday. Actually, FABULOUS news. It's still "secret" so I can't discuss details, but IF it happens, I'll be one happy little Bossy.
Until I get confirmation, I'll try to put on a happy face for you!!!!
First, there was a talk with Jake Brigance on Friday, and it was basically me making it MORE clear that I can't date him. Not with his back-and-forth emotional game playing. He wants to be "friends." I did see him today at an event, and he was friendly enough. I was apathetic and distant, though polite and nice. He also asked about the wedding I went to last night. The wedding HE was supposed to go to with me. I took my friend, the Pilot, instead. And the Comedian was there. The three of us had a blast. So really, I'm quite glad Jake didn't go. He would've definitely been more of a downer, and the fun dancing that was had last night maybe wouldn't have happened. (on a side note, the Comedian is turning out to be a great, fun friend... He's going to be a good wingman...)
Jake also ended our Friday conversations with this... I had said, "sorry things didn't work out." He replied, "I don't know that I would say it didn't work out. I'm just in a place right now that makes me need to pull away." To me, that's him trying to string me along a little. Not going to work. I'm moving on...
...to, the Yankee. Yes, we have a new character in our on-going tales of the single life. He was originally referred to as Hot Neighbor (not on this blog, just in general), but that is such a generic term. So now, he's the Yankee. Because he is a Northerner. Also fairly generic, but it's a good way to refer to him. He just moved into my building. We met by the elevator, saw each other on the street. We exchanged apartment numbers, in attempt for him to meet new people since he's new to town.
I really didn't think much of it, either because things like that rarely materialize, or because I was too wrapped up in the silly behavior of Jake Brigance.
Then last night.... As I stood, NAKED, by my apartment door (INSIDE the door people, I'm not running naked through the halls), putting laundry into the dryer, the Yankee knocked on my door.
Oh, if cameras could've caught my reaction. My first response was to FREEZE. Then the Angels materialize.... Evil angel says, pull a Samantha and open the door naked (such a durrty Angel, she is...). Good Angel says to pretend to be not at home. Single, fun-loving, boy-crazy, Bossy Angel says, tiptoe away from the door, grab your cute little robe, and answer the door.
Of COURSE I listened to Single Angel. I finally got to the door, opened it, and to my amusement saw his reaction at seeing Bossy in her cute little robe. A mix of embarrassment, shock, curiosity...
I explained I was about to get in the shower and get ready for a wedding. He said he just wanted to stop by and say hi, because he has been out of town for awhile and hadn't had the chance to do so yet.
We then exchanged numbers. And proceeded to fall into a VERY comfortable 10-minute conversation. He is just as talkative and out-going as I am, people. A nice change from up-tight Jake Brigance. In that mere 10 minutes, we managed to learn much about each other. Amazing. I fell in love, right there on the spot, in the cute little robe.
Unfortunately, I have no idea if he fell in love. Nor am I clear as to whether he is interested, or just wants to make new friends.... Stay tuned to find out, I guess!
(p.s. If Flirty doesn't post SOON, I'm divorcing her.)
Thursday, September 6, 2007
"I Hate Him"
Flirty and Sassy have a special understanding of the way I say that. Because it's not just "I hate him," but instead it has a certain ring to it...
I really do hate him. Jake Brigance that is.
I hate myself too. For giving in last week, and admitting (to the girls, not to him) that I LIKE him, and I wanted to date him and see what happened.
I took a chance, and I got burned.
He has issues, and I know objectively that this is the last person that I need or want. So I told him, two nights ago, that I just can't date him anymore. Because he refused to stop the emotional games with me - he refused to stop pushing me away. It was a new trick of his, one that he just began a couple of weeks ago. And it hurt. It made me sick to my stomach. I merely asked for him to go back to being cool and fun, with no worries, just letting things go with the flow. But he refused.
So I said, No More.
Seemingly, making the ration decision.
But then, he called me and texted me the following day. We talked on the phone for an hour. It was nice, it was easy. It was like it used to be. I foolishly thought, maybe he realized that he doesn't want me to go away.
Then tonight happened.
This afternoon, I received very upsetting news re: my father. He is leaving my stepmom, and is moving, far away. He didn't even tell me. And he leaves this weekend.
So I called Jake, because he knew the full story surrounding this latest about my father. He seemed caring and sympathetic enough. We let each other go, but not before he voluntarily said, I'll call you later.
Stupid girl for believing that maybe, just maybe, he realized that this was one more "change," one more thing added to my plate, and that more than ever I just needed a friend to be there for me.
But he never called. So I worked late, to keep my mind off things. Then the Comedian asked me to meet him out. I did. At the very place that Jake showed up with his YOGA INSTRUCTOR, AKA the Dogwalker. It felt like someone punched me in the stomach when he walked in with her.
The Comedian talked me down from the ledge, pointed out that probably not a big deal. Just the same as the fact that I was there with the Comedian was nothing more than friendly.
But I couldn't help but think, "but he KNEW I was sad today, and yet, no time for me. But all the time in the world for 'Miss flexible.'"
Jake spots me, and goes to the restroom, and texts: I am here with my dogwalker. She has a boyfriend, so don't give me crap.
I laugh to myself. He came out of the bathroom, and headed straight to me. He fell all over himself explaining his actions. The Comedian said that I had "won" this. That all was cool.
Jake was nice, attentive, came up to me a couple of times. But then he left, and we had a little discussion before he left that wasn't so great. And he walked out with her, to take her to her car allegedly.
Maybe it's not fair of me to care, because I did tell him I couldn't date him anymore.
I'm so sick of mixed signals.
I don't know why I am letting this bother me. I deserve better. I deserve someone who respects me, who can see me for who I am, and not just assume that I'm attempting to steal his independence. Not someone who makes me feel this way. Who couldn't even be there for me this one night.
I am not answering his calls all weekend. IF he even tries to contact me.
I really do hate him. Jake Brigance that is.
I hate myself too. For giving in last week, and admitting (to the girls, not to him) that I LIKE him, and I wanted to date him and see what happened.
I took a chance, and I got burned.
He has issues, and I know objectively that this is the last person that I need or want. So I told him, two nights ago, that I just can't date him anymore. Because he refused to stop the emotional games with me - he refused to stop pushing me away. It was a new trick of his, one that he just began a couple of weeks ago. And it hurt. It made me sick to my stomach. I merely asked for him to go back to being cool and fun, with no worries, just letting things go with the flow. But he refused.
So I said, No More.
Seemingly, making the ration decision.
But then, he called me and texted me the following day. We talked on the phone for an hour. It was nice, it was easy. It was like it used to be. I foolishly thought, maybe he realized that he doesn't want me to go away.
Then tonight happened.
This afternoon, I received very upsetting news re: my father. He is leaving my stepmom, and is moving, far away. He didn't even tell me. And he leaves this weekend.
So I called Jake, because he knew the full story surrounding this latest about my father. He seemed caring and sympathetic enough. We let each other go, but not before he voluntarily said, I'll call you later.
Stupid girl for believing that maybe, just maybe, he realized that this was one more "change," one more thing added to my plate, and that more than ever I just needed a friend to be there for me.
But he never called. So I worked late, to keep my mind off things. Then the Comedian asked me to meet him out. I did. At the very place that Jake showed up with his YOGA INSTRUCTOR, AKA the Dogwalker. It felt like someone punched me in the stomach when he walked in with her.
The Comedian talked me down from the ledge, pointed out that probably not a big deal. Just the same as the fact that I was there with the Comedian was nothing more than friendly.
But I couldn't help but think, "but he KNEW I was sad today, and yet, no time for me. But all the time in the world for 'Miss flexible.'"
Jake spots me, and goes to the restroom, and texts: I am here with my dogwalker. She has a boyfriend, so don't give me crap.
I laugh to myself. He came out of the bathroom, and headed straight to me. He fell all over himself explaining his actions. The Comedian said that I had "won" this. That all was cool.
Jake was nice, attentive, came up to me a couple of times. But then he left, and we had a little discussion before he left that wasn't so great. And he walked out with her, to take her to her car allegedly.
Maybe it's not fair of me to care, because I did tell him I couldn't date him anymore.
I'm so sick of mixed signals.
I don't know why I am letting this bother me. I deserve better. I deserve someone who respects me, who can see me for who I am, and not just assume that I'm attempting to steal his independence. Not someone who makes me feel this way. Who couldn't even be there for me this one night.
I am not answering his calls all weekend. IF he even tries to contact me.
Thursday, August 30, 2007
Eye Candy
Our lifeguard/beach chair guy/hottie... The one who rented our umbrellas to us.
Today, we were able to witness him carrying about 8 beach chairs. His back muscles were the most beautiful sight EVER. [sigh]
Sassy and I purposefully took our time rinsing off the sand from the beach, just so we could stare. He definitely noticed. Sassy said he also noticed when I showered off the sand. Sweet...
No photos of him were taken, but the image of him is forever burned in our memories.
Today, we were able to witness him carrying about 8 beach chairs. His back muscles were the most beautiful sight EVER. [sigh]
Sassy and I purposefully took our time rinsing off the sand from the beach, just so we could stare. He definitely noticed. Sassy said he also noticed when I showered off the sand. Sweet...
No photos of him were taken, but the image of him is forever burned in our memories.
Cinderellas
This post is a joint effort by Bossy and Sassy. Flirty left us yesterday, to go home and pack for her big move.
So tonight is the last night of vacation. As I previously mentioned, we have been L-A-Z-Y. No stories to tell.
But then tonight happened....
Tonight started off innocent enough. Dinner at an oyster house, a couple of glasses of wine each. The bartender recommended a blues bar. We went to said blues bar, had one drink, and were just about to leave….
When the Silver Fox and his friends walked in. Now, admittedly, they graduated from high school when I was 1 year old and Sassy was 3 months old. But of the four of them, there was one that grabbed our attention. The Silver Fox. Yes, he had a ring, so he was most definitely off limits. But he was oh so good looking. Think, or picture, George Clooney. During ER-era. Hot, yes?
So we drank with them. And we danced with them. One of them, we’ll call him the Big Guy (per his friends’ nickname for him), THOUGHT he was a dancer, but no so much. He was entertainment though. We also had the Twirler, who skillfully twirled both Sassy and myself (at separate times, of course) on the dance floor. It makes us wonder, is that type of dancing soon to be dead? I wish that our generation cared more about partner dancing. Anyway, I digress…
Then we pulled our Cinderella moves. It may become my trademark, you know, with the “New Bossy” and all… This Cinderella move was necessary, however. Our beautiful compact-class rental car was with valet. And they closed at midnight. At 11:59 sharp, we headed for the car. At a sprint. Both in wedges. It was a sight, as we both furiously prayed that we didn’t break our ankles.
We barely made it, all sweaty and hot (sweaty hot, not sexy hot…)
Of course, the 4 older gentlemen gave us their cell number and their room numbers, so that we could join them in the hot tubs… As. If. That. Would. Ever. Happen.
So tonight is the last night of vacation. As I previously mentioned, we have been L-A-Z-Y. No stories to tell.
But then tonight happened....
Tonight started off innocent enough. Dinner at an oyster house, a couple of glasses of wine each. The bartender recommended a blues bar. We went to said blues bar, had one drink, and were just about to leave….
When the Silver Fox and his friends walked in. Now, admittedly, they graduated from high school when I was 1 year old and Sassy was 3 months old. But of the four of them, there was one that grabbed our attention. The Silver Fox. Yes, he had a ring, so he was most definitely off limits. But he was oh so good looking. Think, or picture, George Clooney. During ER-era. Hot, yes?
So we drank with them. And we danced with them. One of them, we’ll call him the Big Guy (per his friends’ nickname for him), THOUGHT he was a dancer, but no so much. He was entertainment though. We also had the Twirler, who skillfully twirled both Sassy and myself (at separate times, of course) on the dance floor. It makes us wonder, is that type of dancing soon to be dead? I wish that our generation cared more about partner dancing. Anyway, I digress…
Then we pulled our Cinderella moves. It may become my trademark, you know, with the “New Bossy” and all… This Cinderella move was necessary, however. Our beautiful compact-class rental car was with valet. And they closed at midnight. At 11:59 sharp, we headed for the car. At a sprint. Both in wedges. It was a sight, as we both furiously prayed that we didn’t break our ankles.
We barely made it, all sweaty and hot (sweaty hot, not sexy hot…)
Of course, the 4 older gentlemen gave us their cell number and their room numbers, so that we could join them in the hot tubs… As. If. That. Would. Ever. Happen.
Junior Varsity
First I have to apologize... Flirty, Sassy, our friend "Mommy", and I have been on vacation this week. Together. And you would have thought that we would have great stories for you, right? I mean, put "3 tramps and a Mommy" together, and you would almost certainly have good material.
Not so much. We all realized how just very exhausted we were from our normal wild girl/partying lifestyles (all except Mommy, who just thoroughly enjoyed have quiet time to do crazy things like, read a novel... almost makes you want to have kids, doesn't it? Almost.)
We have done nothing but eat, lay on the beach, and shop. With a glass of wine or two mixed in there at times. And a few workout sessions. Other than that, NO NEWS to report.
The most exciting I can give you is that the Wannabe texted me last night at 3:45 a.m. On a Wednesday night!? I smell trouble.
My theory, and one that Flirty concurs with, is that he is going to try his hardest to get me in the sack. As a challenge. Because we merely kissed last week. Yes, I stayed at his place, but even in my drunken partying state last week (celebrating being unemployed for 2 weeks people!), I resisted his advances. Sometimes my willpower amazes even me.
But this is the new Bossy (more about that later. I don't want to write a sappy post. let's just say that Flirty moves out of town tomorrow, and it has DEVASTATED me to no end....)
And New Bossy* is not going to get involved with any more losers. I have had my fair share of them this summer. Agreed?
Anyway, Wannabe shares the same first name with Blazer Boy. So I compared them.
Flirty said, "Wannabe is JV, Blazer Boy is Varsity." Followed up with, "Wannabe merely aspires to Blazer Boy level of game."
Well said, Flirty.
(p.s. How PROUD are we all that I don't think, write, or talk about Blazer Boy anymore! Except this one time, but it was only to make a point that I am through with that phase of my life... But for those of you who may be new to this blog, and not up to speed on Blazer Boy, just click on the Blazer Boy label on this post... The whole damn story will be there, waiting for you.)
*New Bossy also includes NO MORE obsessing over Jake Brigance. I LIKE him, I do. But I'm all done with the worrying, and we'll just see what happens!!!!
Not so much. We all realized how just very exhausted we were from our normal wild girl/partying lifestyles (all except Mommy, who just thoroughly enjoyed have quiet time to do crazy things like, read a novel... almost makes you want to have kids, doesn't it? Almost.)
We have done nothing but eat, lay on the beach, and shop. With a glass of wine or two mixed in there at times. And a few workout sessions. Other than that, NO NEWS to report.
The most exciting I can give you is that the Wannabe texted me last night at 3:45 a.m. On a Wednesday night!? I smell trouble.
My theory, and one that Flirty concurs with, is that he is going to try his hardest to get me in the sack. As a challenge. Because we merely kissed last week. Yes, I stayed at his place, but even in my drunken partying state last week (celebrating being unemployed for 2 weeks people!), I resisted his advances. Sometimes my willpower amazes even me.
But this is the new Bossy (more about that later. I don't want to write a sappy post. let's just say that Flirty moves out of town tomorrow, and it has DEVASTATED me to no end....)
And New Bossy* is not going to get involved with any more losers. I have had my fair share of them this summer. Agreed?
Anyway, Wannabe shares the same first name with Blazer Boy. So I compared them.
Flirty said, "Wannabe is JV, Blazer Boy is Varsity." Followed up with, "Wannabe merely aspires to Blazer Boy level of game."
Well said, Flirty.
(p.s. How PROUD are we all that I don't think, write, or talk about Blazer Boy anymore! Except this one time, but it was only to make a point that I am through with that phase of my life... But for those of you who may be new to this blog, and not up to speed on Blazer Boy, just click on the Blazer Boy label on this post... The whole damn story will be there, waiting for you.)
*New Bossy also includes NO MORE obsessing over Jake Brigance. I LIKE him, I do. But I'm all done with the worrying, and we'll just see what happens!!!!
Saturday, August 25, 2007
I Would Hate to Disappoint You
Regardless of the status of Jake, I am still up to no good. And by no good, I mean having a lot of fun and getting into trouble. For one more week, before I buckle down at the new job.
As there is no commitment in my life, I am still enjoying flirting with others. Biting, giving the flirty eyes, going out... There is a new "character," named the Wannabe. That name derives from the fact that he really really wants to be a rock star. NOT in his future, IMO. But we won't break that to him.
I'm really not into him, and he's not likely to even be a "date." But I'm introducing him just in case there are future stories...
As there is no commitment in my life, I am still enjoying flirting with others. Biting, giving the flirty eyes, going out... There is a new "character," named the Wannabe. That name derives from the fact that he really really wants to be a rock star. NOT in his future, IMO. But we won't break that to him.
I'm really not into him, and he's not likely to even be a "date." But I'm introducing him just in case there are future stories...
I Took a Chill Pill
I figured it was about time for an update. Life has been hectic and busy, so we have neglected this blog.
It takes me a little bit, but I can admit when I go overboard, or go to extremes. To my defense, I am going through many significant changes. Friends leaving, changing jobs... My life is about to take a complete 180 I predict. It's scary, but it can be a good thing too.
I definitely put a little too much meaning into what happened with Jake. I hate that my posts were so rambling and made little sense. But we got past that issue. I apologized, he apologized. Things are ok for the most part.
I think that he can't accept that I am different from his past girlfriend(s). He keeps expecting me to react a certain way to his regimented lifestyle, and has incorrectly assumed a couple of times that I wanted a relationship. Despite my frequent reminders to him that I don't want a relationship at this point. I am quite happy and content with the status of things right now, which is no commitment and free to do as we please. It seems he may be starting to accept that about me.
I think we are just feeling each other out, learning more about the other. We are both difficult creatures, a bit stubborn, used to doing our own things and not answering to other people. Which means some headbutting at times. We'll just have to see what happens.
It takes me a little bit, but I can admit when I go overboard, or go to extremes. To my defense, I am going through many significant changes. Friends leaving, changing jobs... My life is about to take a complete 180 I predict. It's scary, but it can be a good thing too.
I definitely put a little too much meaning into what happened with Jake. I hate that my posts were so rambling and made little sense. But we got past that issue. I apologized, he apologized. Things are ok for the most part.
I think that he can't accept that I am different from his past girlfriend(s). He keeps expecting me to react a certain way to his regimented lifestyle, and has incorrectly assumed a couple of times that I wanted a relationship. Despite my frequent reminders to him that I don't want a relationship at this point. I am quite happy and content with the status of things right now, which is no commitment and free to do as we please. It seems he may be starting to accept that about me.
I think we are just feeling each other out, learning more about the other. We are both difficult creatures, a bit stubborn, used to doing our own things and not answering to other people. Which means some headbutting at times. We'll just have to see what happens.
Sunday, August 12, 2007
And now the sober version of the story...
Can you tell I wrote the previous post after a LONG night of drinking? Becauses I did.
Today, I haven't completely changed my mind. I still think his actions are representative of a bigger issue. He expects many accomodations for his hobbies by the girl he is dating, but he seems incapable of compromising. That is unacceptable in my book.
I did probably take it a little far by saying my social life is over. It's not over. It's been a great year and I wouldn't go back and change it. But, I can't keep the pace that Flirty and I have kept this year, nor do I want to maintain that pace. But there will be times that I want to go out and let my hair down, Bossy-style, so I do hope that there are remaining friends that will accompany me. If I am dating someone, although "Bossy-style" going out may not be appropriate, I would still want to go out and have fun from time-to-time. And I would want my significant other to go out and have fun with me. I don't think Jake is that guy. He is a lot of the things I want, but I don't think he is the whole package.
Today, I haven't completely changed my mind. I still think his actions are representative of a bigger issue. He expects many accomodations for his hobbies by the girl he is dating, but he seems incapable of compromising. That is unacceptable in my book.
I did probably take it a little far by saying my social life is over. It's not over. It's been a great year and I wouldn't go back and change it. But, I can't keep the pace that Flirty and I have kept this year, nor do I want to maintain that pace. But there will be times that I want to go out and let my hair down, Bossy-style, so I do hope that there are remaining friends that will accompany me. If I am dating someone, although "Bossy-style" going out may not be appropriate, I would still want to go out and have fun from time-to-time. And I would want my significant other to go out and have fun with me. I don't think Jake is that guy. He is a lot of the things I want, but I don't think he is the whole package.
Reasonableness, Or Unreasonableness, Is Relative
Who is to say if this is reasonable or unreasonable? But Jake Brigance made a fatal mistake tonight. He took the wrong step, intentionally. I don't think I can forgive and forget. This may be it. I don't know I want to see him again, even though we have 2 scheduled events this week (and by "event," I mean RSVP kind of events.)
Granted, I've been lookin for the red flag, and had yet to find it. I was very upset today about something, and he seemed so understanding. But yet tonight, when he knew I needed his support, his bailed on me. He couldn't suck it up this one time and stay out with me. I have known him exactly one month to the day.... And I haven't asked anything of him in the least bit unreasonable. I think he should have bent in my direction a tad bit tonight. Not only did he know that I was upset about several of my friends moving away in the next few weeks, he also knew that one of my hangups from my ex-relationship was that the Ex (Emotional Roller Coaster) stifled me and rarely wanted to do anything social. He knew that, but he still did this.
Flirty thinks tomorrow I may change my mind. I think she may think I'm being harsh. I won't say never, but I'm doubtful that this can be remedied. My fears were realized tonight regarding relationships. He knew what those were, but yet he chose this path.
Now that Flirty and others are leaving, I'm certain to lose this social life that I love so much. And it saddens me to an extent you can't imagine.
Granted, I've been lookin for the red flag, and had yet to find it. I was very upset today about something, and he seemed so understanding. But yet tonight, when he knew I needed his support, his bailed on me. He couldn't suck it up this one time and stay out with me. I have known him exactly one month to the day.... And I haven't asked anything of him in the least bit unreasonable. I think he should have bent in my direction a tad bit tonight. Not only did he know that I was upset about several of my friends moving away in the next few weeks, he also knew that one of my hangups from my ex-relationship was that the Ex (Emotional Roller Coaster) stifled me and rarely wanted to do anything social. He knew that, but he still did this.
Flirty thinks tomorrow I may change my mind. I think she may think I'm being harsh. I won't say never, but I'm doubtful that this can be remedied. My fears were realized tonight regarding relationships. He knew what those were, but yet he chose this path.
Now that Flirty and others are leaving, I'm certain to lose this social life that I love so much. And it saddens me to an extent you can't imagine.
Tuesday, August 7, 2007
Roddick Failed the Test
I cancelled the date with Roddick. He gave me such an easy out, that I had to take it. I don't regret it at all. See below to understand why...
Setting: Sunday, around 2:00 p.m., Bossy catching up on work in local coffee shop
I text Roddick to ask if we can push the date back by half an hour. He texts back and says sure, that he's working also, plus he had a late night. Also offered to postpone if I wanted. After much internal debating, and some advice from the girls, I decide to cancel. Prior to cancelling, in order to kill time, I texted back and asked what his late night involved. It involved dancing/drinking at the somewhat cheesy place that he took me to on our date. Not only that, but I found out that he almost got in a fight with "Yes, My Shorts Are Sexy" [see sidebar].
Bossy does NOT date fighters. First red flag! Well, first red flag of the weekend. The first red flag was our date two weeks ago.
So I cancelled. In doing so, I apologized, and I get this text: No worries Bossy. 4 whatever its worth i like you alot. Im just not good with all the preliminary cat & mouse stuff. Hope u get ur work done.
I really haven't played any games, at least not intentionally. I have just been busy, as he has.
Next setting: Monday night, having a girl's movie night at Flirty's.
I get a text from Roddick, asking if I'm at "this concert." The concert was a really big production here, and I had wished I had tickets. So when I get that text, we start an exchange:
Puh-leese. Lame. Hasn't seen me in 3 weeks? Not all my fault. He's just as busy as I am. Maybe he should have picked up the phone and made a little more effort.
That was the final straw. He let his last chance slide by.
I don't know, maybe I'm being too picky. Or maybe not? Flirty says it's because I like Jake Brigance so much, that I have no tolerance for Roddick. [Which leads me to say, sometimes, Flirty's acute perception of the not-so-obvious-to-other-people is annoying. Ha. I DO love her for it, but damn! I can't get away with anything with her!]
On another note, Flirty may have a potential Boy Toy in the works... Stay tuned...
Oh yeah! Almost forgot to tell you. We saw the Hunter out on Saturday night. He has returned from his work trip. I don't know how I missed it, but what an A-HOLE! I certainly was aware of that after meeting the girlfriend of 5 years, but this went way far beyond that. Like, insulting LA's ethnicity and hometown. In a derogatory way.
Setting: Sunday, around 2:00 p.m., Bossy catching up on work in local coffee shop
I text Roddick to ask if we can push the date back by half an hour. He texts back and says sure, that he's working also, plus he had a late night. Also offered to postpone if I wanted. After much internal debating, and some advice from the girls, I decide to cancel. Prior to cancelling, in order to kill time, I texted back and asked what his late night involved. It involved dancing/drinking at the somewhat cheesy place that he took me to on our date. Not only that, but I found out that he almost got in a fight with "Yes, My Shorts Are Sexy" [see sidebar].
Bossy does NOT date fighters. First red flag! Well, first red flag of the weekend. The first red flag was our date two weeks ago.
So I cancelled. In doing so, I apologized, and I get this text: No worries Bossy. 4 whatever its worth i like you alot. Im just not good with all the preliminary cat & mouse stuff. Hope u get ur work done.
I really haven't played any games, at least not intentionally. I have just been busy, as he has.
Next setting: Monday night, having a girl's movie night at Flirty's.
I get a text from Roddick, asking if I'm at "this concert." The concert was a really big production here, and I had wished I had tickets. So when I get that text, we start an exchange:
Bossy: You are at [famous artist's] concert!? I'm JEALOUS.
Roddick: Got my company's box tickets today. [this means, he got several tickets. the boxes at this venue are pretty damn sweet]
Bossy: Thanks for the invite.
Roddick: 2 short of notice.
after no response from Bossy:
Roddick: I'm sorry. didnt know if u wanted to go. Havent seen u n 3 weeks. Had extras so gave them 2 friends.
Puh-leese. Lame. Hasn't seen me in 3 weeks? Not all my fault. He's just as busy as I am. Maybe he should have picked up the phone and made a little more effort.
That was the final straw. He let his last chance slide by.
I don't know, maybe I'm being too picky. Or maybe not? Flirty says it's because I like Jake Brigance so much, that I have no tolerance for Roddick. [Which leads me to say, sometimes, Flirty's acute perception of the not-so-obvious-to-other-people is annoying. Ha. I DO love her for it, but damn! I can't get away with anything with her!]
*********************
On another note, Flirty may have a potential Boy Toy in the works... Stay tuned...
*********************
Oh yeah! Almost forgot to tell you. We saw the Hunter out on Saturday night. He has returned from his work trip. I don't know how I missed it, but what an A-HOLE! I certainly was aware of that after meeting the girlfriend of 5 years, but this went way far beyond that. Like, insulting LA's ethnicity and hometown. In a derogatory way.
Sunday, August 5, 2007
The Tao of Wingman
Overheard this weekend....Wingman waxes poetical on life and love.
Wingman has been seeing a lady. We call her Sourpuss because she seems like she is a bit of a funhater, or at least a Bossy- and Flirty-hater. But to be fair, Wingman 1) failed to introduce us when we were hanging out all together one night and 2) kept leaving her to come to our table to talk to us, most of those times sharing a chair with Bossy. So we give her a (very little) slack. She's moving far, far away this week. He has been adamant that it's just a summer fling, and no one is getting attached. Bossy and I have repeatedly told him he's full of shit, SP is going to get attached and ultimately hurt. Cut to Friday:
Wingman: Yeah, I have to get up early tomorrow because I'm helping Sourpuss move.
Flirty: That's a boyfriend move, Wingman, not a summer fling move.
Wingman: Nah, I'm just being nice. Oh, and her parents and brother will be there so I'm meeting them.
Flirty: Dude. Isn't that kind of a big step?
Wingman: Nah, whatever, it's no big deal. It's not like I want to date her or anything.
Frat Boy (shakes his head)
Later that evening...he continues to maintain that this is merely a summer fling, no strings attached, because he has no intention of maintaining yet another long distance relationship.
Frat Boy: You're like star-crossed lovers.
Flirty: Yeah, like two ships passing in the night.
Wingman: More like two bored, horny people with a month to kill.
Two more jager bombs later...a discussion of beds ensued (I don't remember why)
Flirty: Wingman, um, I heard on good authority that your bed sucks actually.
Wingman: Yeah, it does. Sourpuss complains too. But a true player has a shitty bed. Otherwise you can never be totally sure why the girl's coming over. It might be just that you have a comfortable bed. Sourpuss ain't coming over for the comfy bed. That's how I roll.
(Frat Boy and myself collapse into fits of laughter. Wingman is adorable but is absolutely NOT a player.)
Saturday night...Wingman gets serious (not about himself of course):
Girls, you gotta look at it this way. When women have sex with a guy, they get attached 75% of the time. It's just the way it is. Men are the opposite. For them, 75% of the time there's no emotional attachment. It's just sex. But that 25% of the time, men are just as attached as women.
Dude. If he's right, the odds really ARE stacked against us. That must be why God made us more clever than men. We have to game our way to that 25% so we can maintain the upper hand!
Wingman has been seeing a lady. We call her Sourpuss because she seems like she is a bit of a funhater, or at least a Bossy- and Flirty-hater. But to be fair, Wingman 1) failed to introduce us when we were hanging out all together one night and 2) kept leaving her to come to our table to talk to us, most of those times sharing a chair with Bossy. So we give her a (very little) slack. She's moving far, far away this week. He has been adamant that it's just a summer fling, and no one is getting attached. Bossy and I have repeatedly told him he's full of shit, SP is going to get attached and ultimately hurt. Cut to Friday:
Wingman: Yeah, I have to get up early tomorrow because I'm helping Sourpuss move.
Flirty: That's a boyfriend move, Wingman, not a summer fling move.
Wingman: Nah, I'm just being nice. Oh, and her parents and brother will be there so I'm meeting them.
Flirty: Dude. Isn't that kind of a big step?
Wingman: Nah, whatever, it's no big deal. It's not like I want to date her or anything.
Frat Boy (shakes his head)
Later that evening...he continues to maintain that this is merely a summer fling, no strings attached, because he has no intention of maintaining yet another long distance relationship.
Frat Boy: You're like star-crossed lovers.
Flirty: Yeah, like two ships passing in the night.
Wingman: More like two bored, horny people with a month to kill.
Two more jager bombs later...a discussion of beds ensued (I don't remember why)
Flirty: Wingman, um, I heard on good authority that your bed sucks actually.
Wingman: Yeah, it does. Sourpuss complains too. But a true player has a shitty bed. Otherwise you can never be totally sure why the girl's coming over. It might be just that you have a comfortable bed. Sourpuss ain't coming over for the comfy bed. That's how I roll.
(Frat Boy and myself collapse into fits of laughter. Wingman is adorable but is absolutely NOT a player.)
Saturday night...Wingman gets serious (not about himself of course):
Girls, you gotta look at it this way. When women have sex with a guy, they get attached 75% of the time. It's just the way it is. Men are the opposite. For them, 75% of the time there's no emotional attachment. It's just sex. But that 25% of the time, men are just as attached as women.
Dude. If he's right, the odds really ARE stacked against us. That must be why God made us more clever than men. We have to game our way to that 25% so we can maintain the upper hand!
Tuesday, July 31, 2007
Apparently, Bossy is Settling
Text exchange (summarized) between Bossy and the Ex, aka Mr. Emotional Roller Coaster:
HAHAHAHAHAHA. As if. For REAL Are you f-ing serious????
First, I can do MUCH BETTER. Second, the only way I would date him is if he were the last guy available. And even then, I would probably be better off and happier if I became a lesbian [guy readers --- I know you may like it if I were to become a lesbian, but not going to happen. Sorry.]
Which leads me to say, things are going well with Jake Brigance. We have seen each other many times. Good conversations. I am even going to a dinner party with him friday, with 2 "couples." [note that I did not say "other couples" because I am not ready to be 1/2 of a couple... I love my freedom and am having a hard time parting with it. So hard in fact, that I finally gave in and said yes to another date with Andy Roddick. Just to flex my independent single muscles. Just because I can.]
Only one red flag so far - Jake Brigance doesn't like the same late-night dance dives/haunts that I like. But I think that it can be dealt with, as long as there is compromise and he doesn't stifle me like the Ex did. Oh, also found out that he doesn't like musicals {gasp}.
But really, I'm obviously settling by dating this great, funny, sweet, good looking, athletic, smart, respectful guy. When I could be with an emotionally retarded, immature, selfish, anti-social ass.
Ex: Had a great weekend. I am really starting to enjoy myself. Went on a date. [did I ask? I think not...]
Bossy: That's great. I've been dating as well. [this is first I've broken that news to him, in keeping with my attempt to not cause drama/psycho behavior/stalking]
Ex: Who did you go out with?
Bossy: One guy [Andy Roddick] once, another guy [Jake Brigance] a few times. What about your date? Who was it? [being the polite southern-raised girl that I am, I had to ask the reciprocal question to his inquiry]
Ex: Why would I tell you? I trust you not. [What? Who? Me???]
Bossy [lightbulb goes off]: I have a sneaking suspicion that you didn't go on a date, but just said you did to get a rise out of me.
Ex: You're a loser. A little worried about this girl? You should be, she's nice. and seems to have a soul.
Bossy: I would have to care to be worried. [which I don't. again, just being polite by inquiring, since he was the one to bring it up]
Ex: You're becoming defensive. Why? It's cute, missing me?
[a few minutes pass... I am laughing so hard that I can't even hold my phone to text back. If he only KNEW about the fun I've been having without him.]
Ex again: I did just make up my date to get a rise. It worked. [pathetic pathetic pathetic.... which translates to, he's pathetic]
Bossy: Hardly, no rise from me. More like you are concerned with me dating.
Ex: I'm not at all. Have I asked about [Jake Brigance]? [actually, yes, you did... See above... You asked who I went out with.] The reason is I'm confident that you can't do better than me. It's not my problem if you want to settle.
HAHAHAHAHAHA. As if. For REAL Are you f-ing serious????
First, I can do MUCH BETTER. Second, the only way I would date him is if he were the last guy available. And even then, I would probably be better off and happier if I became a lesbian [guy readers --- I know you may like it if I were to become a lesbian, but not going to happen. Sorry.]
Which leads me to say, things are going well with Jake Brigance. We have seen each other many times. Good conversations. I am even going to a dinner party with him friday, with 2 "couples." [note that I did not say "other couples" because I am not ready to be 1/2 of a couple... I love my freedom and am having a hard time parting with it. So hard in fact, that I finally gave in and said yes to another date with Andy Roddick. Just to flex my independent single muscles. Just because I can.]
Only one red flag so far - Jake Brigance doesn't like the same late-night dance dives/haunts that I like. But I think that it can be dealt with, as long as there is compromise and he doesn't stifle me like the Ex did. Oh, also found out that he doesn't like musicals {gasp}.
But really, I'm obviously settling by dating this great, funny, sweet, good looking, athletic, smart, respectful guy. When I could be with an emotionally retarded, immature, selfish, anti-social ass.
Monday, July 23, 2007
Guy No. 1 v. Guy No. 2
I am still very reluctant to talk about it, so will refrain from "gushing" (which is what Flirty says I've been doing). But on the other hand, we did promise updates on the two dates.
Jake Brigance - Guy No. 1
This is the one I'm not going to gush about... Online at least. Because I like him. I'll save my gushing for texting, IMing, and phone calls with my girls. But in a nutshell, we had a great time on our date. He was nice, fun, respectful, smart, good conversationalist. And a GREAT kisser :-) But nothing other than that occurred, because like I said, he's respectful.
He actually calls and texts and emails... One of the former methods of communication is initiated by him every day. He didn't make me wait 3 days to find out if he had as much fun as I had. But he manages to do this without overstepping that fine line. That fine line that we girls draw between calling too much and not calling enough.
This is a guy I could see myself dating. I, Bossy, could actually maybe somewhat cut back on my single girl social life for him. Not because he asked, but because I would just want to. Did I mention he works out a lot too? Likes to run as much as I do. That would be a nice change from the partying type of guys I have tended to be around this summer.
Our date also fits nicely into what you should find out on the first date:
1. Definitely a good conversationalist. Much like Charming But Single said about herself, I can talk anytime, to anyone, anywhere. I like to communicate a lot. So I need someone who talks too. Not only that, but he talks about interesting things. I like to listen to him. He's pretty damn funny as well.
2. He's excited about something. He has hobbies. I won't mention what the hobbies are in an attempt to maintain a little bit of anonymity. Just take my word for it. He isn't boring.
3. He likes his job. And he's good at it. He does the same thing that I do. So we would never have a problem with one of us not understanding the other's job.
4. He likes to socialize like I do, and it seems we have the same tastes. Not only that, but he actually has friends and a social life all on his own. Unlike certain unmentionable Ex's of mine...
5. There are things to joke about. He is sarcastic and teases me. In a chasing-the-girl-on-the-playground kind of way. And I like to be chased on the playground.
Andy Roddick - Guy No. 2
Oh Andy... Where did we go wrong? Oh wait, you may have not had much of a chance because you were date no. 2, and date no. 1 with Jake went so well that you had high standards to meet. And you didn't quite make it that high.
No, instead, you took me out to get sloshed. You may have thought I couldn't keep up, but I matched you beer-for-beer. And while you seemed to think this was cool, I was thinking the whole time that exactly what I don't want is a guy who thinks this is cool. I've spent my summer partying, living it up for one last summer with my friends before I have to grow up. I'm ready to grow up. No, I'm hardly planning on becoming Boring Bossy, but there is a happy medium that I'm striving for, and you may not help me maintain that as well as Jake can.
Andy fits nicely into what you should not find out on the first date:
1. See above, he got trashed on the first date. Charming But Single said, "If you can’t dial your drinking down to get to know me, chances are that you’re someone I don’t really want to know. Trust me, I enjoy a drink as much as the next social butterfly, but too much alcohol on a first date is a sign of either extreme nerves, a dependency on alcohol or a lacking sense of appropriateness. And none of these things are qualities that make my heart flutter or my cheeks flushed." I could not say it better, hence the quoting of CBS. On the other hand, Jake and I shared a bottle of wine on our date, but it was in moderation and was appropriate.
2. Everything about your failed relationships was revealed to me. Yes, I know his dating history. On the first date. His almost engagement, his broken heart, his inability to commit for 5 years, the next "falling in love" episode, and when that relationship ended. As for Jake, I didn't find out until after the first date about his dating history. Thankfully. And Jake didn't find out about mine until after either. And even that was quick and vague---basically just that we both fairly recently got out of long-term relationships.
3. You will do anything to get laid. Ok, maybe not anything, but you were coming on to me pretty damn strong. AT THE BAR. And I think you may have touched my ass one too many times. I was dizzy enough from all the beers that I didn't much notice, but at the same time, it was enough to make me cringe the next morning. Jake, however, was polite enough to kiss me then leave. He played it perfectly, left me wanting for more.
4. OK, you don't fit into the 4th category. You are not cynical. Anything but as far as I could tell.
5. Your value/worth. You didn't go so far as to tell me exactly how much money you make in your new high-paying job, how much your newly renovated and professionally decorated condo cost, or how much you paid for your sweet little Lexus. But you did make it a point to discuss those things in general. Jake not once mentioned anything like that. And he picked me up in a great SUV that gets a lot of use toting around bikes and such. Much more manly and appealing to me than your fancy-shmancy sedan. Leave the fancy car to me please (well, in my dreams I have a fancy car.)
So, that's a rundown of the guys. Do I need to even ask which guy you a) like better, b) think would be best for me, and c) think that I like more???
I have a date with Jake tomorrow night. A running date. Very excited. He also wants to grab dinner after our run. And he called tonight and we talked for 1 1/2 hours on the phone...
Jake Brigance - Guy No. 1
This is the one I'm not going to gush about... Online at least. Because I like him. I'll save my gushing for texting, IMing, and phone calls with my girls. But in a nutshell, we had a great time on our date. He was nice, fun, respectful, smart, good conversationalist. And a GREAT kisser :-) But nothing other than that occurred, because like I said, he's respectful.
He actually calls and texts and emails... One of the former methods of communication is initiated by him every day. He didn't make me wait 3 days to find out if he had as much fun as I had. But he manages to do this without overstepping that fine line. That fine line that we girls draw between calling too much and not calling enough.
This is a guy I could see myself dating. I, Bossy, could actually maybe somewhat cut back on my single girl social life for him. Not because he asked, but because I would just want to. Did I mention he works out a lot too? Likes to run as much as I do. That would be a nice change from the partying type of guys I have tended to be around this summer.
Our date also fits nicely into what you should find out on the first date:
1. Definitely a good conversationalist. Much like Charming But Single said about herself, I can talk anytime, to anyone, anywhere. I like to communicate a lot. So I need someone who talks too. Not only that, but he talks about interesting things. I like to listen to him. He's pretty damn funny as well.
2. He's excited about something. He has hobbies. I won't mention what the hobbies are in an attempt to maintain a little bit of anonymity. Just take my word for it. He isn't boring.
3. He likes his job. And he's good at it. He does the same thing that I do. So we would never have a problem with one of us not understanding the other's job.
4. He likes to socialize like I do, and it seems we have the same tastes. Not only that, but he actually has friends and a social life all on his own. Unlike certain unmentionable Ex's of mine...
5. There are things to joke about. He is sarcastic and teases me. In a chasing-the-girl-on-the-playground kind of way. And I like to be chased on the playground.
Andy Roddick - Guy No. 2
Oh Andy... Where did we go wrong? Oh wait, you may have not had much of a chance because you were date no. 2, and date no. 1 with Jake went so well that you had high standards to meet. And you didn't quite make it that high.
No, instead, you took me out to get sloshed. You may have thought I couldn't keep up, but I matched you beer-for-beer. And while you seemed to think this was cool, I was thinking the whole time that exactly what I don't want is a guy who thinks this is cool. I've spent my summer partying, living it up for one last summer with my friends before I have to grow up. I'm ready to grow up. No, I'm hardly planning on becoming Boring Bossy, but there is a happy medium that I'm striving for, and you may not help me maintain that as well as Jake can.
Andy fits nicely into what you should not find out on the first date:
1. See above, he got trashed on the first date. Charming But Single said, "If you can’t dial your drinking down to get to know me, chances are that you’re someone I don’t really want to know. Trust me, I enjoy a drink as much as the next social butterfly, but too much alcohol on a first date is a sign of either extreme nerves, a dependency on alcohol or a lacking sense of appropriateness. And none of these things are qualities that make my heart flutter or my cheeks flushed." I could not say it better, hence the quoting of CBS. On the other hand, Jake and I shared a bottle of wine on our date, but it was in moderation and was appropriate.
2. Everything about your failed relationships was revealed to me. Yes, I know his dating history. On the first date. His almost engagement, his broken heart, his inability to commit for 5 years, the next "falling in love" episode, and when that relationship ended. As for Jake, I didn't find out until after the first date about his dating history. Thankfully. And Jake didn't find out about mine until after either. And even that was quick and vague---basically just that we both fairly recently got out of long-term relationships.
3. You will do anything to get laid. Ok, maybe not anything, but you were coming on to me pretty damn strong. AT THE BAR. And I think you may have touched my ass one too many times. I was dizzy enough from all the beers that I didn't much notice, but at the same time, it was enough to make me cringe the next morning. Jake, however, was polite enough to kiss me then leave. He played it perfectly, left me wanting for more.
4. OK, you don't fit into the 4th category. You are not cynical. Anything but as far as I could tell.
5. Your value/worth. You didn't go so far as to tell me exactly how much money you make in your new high-paying job, how much your newly renovated and professionally decorated condo cost, or how much you paid for your sweet little Lexus. But you did make it a point to discuss those things in general. Jake not once mentioned anything like that. And he picked me up in a great SUV that gets a lot of use toting around bikes and such. Much more manly and appealing to me than your fancy-shmancy sedan. Leave the fancy car to me please (well, in my dreams I have a fancy car.)
*******************
So, that's a rundown of the guys. Do I need to even ask which guy you a) like better, b) think would be best for me, and c) think that I like more???
I have a date with Jake tomorrow night. A running date. Very excited. He also wants to grab dinner after our run. And he called tonight and we talked for 1 1/2 hours on the phone...
Sunday, July 22, 2007
Bossy's New Boys
I promised I wouldn't jinx Bossy's potential with her two new suitors, so I won't go into great detail to describe them, nor will I steal her thunder by describing the dates for her. She and I had a funny text message exchange, though, that she has given me permission to share.
Tuesday night was the date with Jake Brigance (I'm too tired to link this one up, so if you are curious, check Google-it will give you at least a few hints into our Jake's background). She's been talking about him...a lot...ever since. It was a real date, dinner and everything.
Thursday was her date with Andy Roddick. I had a drink with her while we were waiting for him. He was at least a half hour late, for which he lost points (see immediate past post. And of course I am one of the scorekeepers here). BUT he was very cute, in that Andy Roddick sort of way. I went home. A couple of hours later, the texts started:
Bossy: N bathroom. He's shorter than I remembered. (but still taller than Jake Brigance)
Flirty: Well that evens the stakes, doesn't it? He is cute...
Bossy: Yes.
Later...
Bossy: Damn it. I'm at [local twentysomething semi-cheesy watering hole]. And I just bit my date.
Flirty: Haha u ARE in trouble now.
Still later...
Bossy: I think I like Jake Brigance better.
Flirty: Then don't bite Andy Roddick anymore :)
Bossy: Good advice.
Tuesday night was the date with Jake Brigance (I'm too tired to link this one up, so if you are curious, check Google-it will give you at least a few hints into our Jake's background). She's been talking about him...a lot...ever since. It was a real date, dinner and everything.
Thursday was her date with Andy Roddick. I had a drink with her while we were waiting for him. He was at least a half hour late, for which he lost points (see immediate past post. And of course I am one of the scorekeepers here). BUT he was very cute, in that Andy Roddick sort of way. I went home. A couple of hours later, the texts started:
Bossy: N bathroom. He's shorter than I remembered. (but still taller than Jake Brigance)
Flirty: Well that evens the stakes, doesn't it? He is cute...
Bossy: Yes.
Later...
Bossy: Damn it. I'm at [local twentysomething semi-cheesy watering hole]. And I just bit my date.
Flirty: Haha u ARE in trouble now.
Still later...
Bossy: I think I like Jake Brigance better.
Flirty: Then don't bite Andy Roddick anymore :)
Bossy: Good advice.
Friday, July 20, 2007
Close Call
I think I successfully staved off becoming cynical. I was worried for a second that I was gaining the cynical edge. So I proclaimed a dating hiatus to my friends.
The dating hiatus lasted, oh, let me count... [bossy thinks long and hard... it hurts though] It lasted about 3 days.
Two guys were introduced to me through mutual friends. Both seemed promising. So I gave them my number when asked.
I had first dates with both of them this week. Though nothing may come out of either, both are good-looking, intelligent, have good jobs, seem to like me, are the appropriate age, and make me laugh. That alone was enough to help me regain my confidence in the single/dating life again.
There is hope. There is potential out there.
I may post about the dates at a later time, but am a little cautious so as to not jinx anything. I am not even nicknaming them yet... Well, actually one already has a nickname, but I'm not advertising the names yet. I do think, however, that I may have to describe the dates according to Charming But Single's two posts on what you should find out on the first date v. what you should not find out on the first date. I think both dates will fit nicely into the categories.
I do think there is a current front-runner among the two, but I am just enjoying them for the moment and will see what happens.
My friends and I are also keeping tally of "points" on these two guys... You know, points for opening the car door, paying, calling when they say they will, etc., and points deducted for not being a gentleman, running way late, not calling, etc.... Yes, we have standards and high expectations.
The dating hiatus lasted, oh, let me count... [bossy thinks long and hard... it hurts though] It lasted about 3 days.
Two guys were introduced to me through mutual friends. Both seemed promising. So I gave them my number when asked.
I had first dates with both of them this week. Though nothing may come out of either, both are good-looking, intelligent, have good jobs, seem to like me, are the appropriate age, and make me laugh. That alone was enough to help me regain my confidence in the single/dating life again.
There is hope. There is potential out there.
I may post about the dates at a later time, but am a little cautious so as to not jinx anything. I am not even nicknaming them yet... Well, actually one already has a nickname, but I'm not advertising the names yet. I do think, however, that I may have to describe the dates according to Charming But Single's two posts on what you should find out on the first date v. what you should not find out on the first date. I think both dates will fit nicely into the categories.
I do think there is a current front-runner among the two, but I am just enjoying them for the moment and will see what happens.
My friends and I are also keeping tally of "points" on these two guys... You know, points for opening the car door, paying, calling when they say they will, etc., and points deducted for not being a gentleman, running way late, not calling, etc.... Yes, we have standards and high expectations.
Wednesday, July 18, 2007
A Reminder Via Hate-Text Mails
And I was wondering the other day why I am frightened of another relationship. I received a little "friendly" reminder yesterday and today.
My ex-BF, the one who stifled me for 2 years. Mr. Emotional Roller Coaster himself, had decided that he could be my friend finally, after about 7 months of being apart. It worked for about, um, 2 weeks.
Then he freaked out on me yesterday because HE didn't get an invitation to a mutual friend's wedding. I had nothing to do with that, in fact, I gave our mutual friend his address for the invite list!
But apparently, it's all my fault because I wasn't a "good enough friend" to my ex-BF in that I didn't call our mutual friend and inquire as to why he didn't get an invitation. ARE YOU KIDDING ME? Since when was it the norm to be responsible for your ex's social life???
I told him he's giving me an ulcer.
This, people, is why I'm so very reluctant to get in another relationship. I don't want to be someone's emotional crutch. I fear being too responsible for someone else's feelings. I want a partner, an equal, someone who likes the same things that I do. Someone who is fairly social, not a hermit. I don't need someone who drags me down.
Is that so much to ask?
My ex-BF, the one who stifled me for 2 years. Mr. Emotional Roller Coaster himself, had decided that he could be my friend finally, after about 7 months of being apart. It worked for about, um, 2 weeks.
Then he freaked out on me yesterday because HE didn't get an invitation to a mutual friend's wedding. I had nothing to do with that, in fact, I gave our mutual friend his address for the invite list!
But apparently, it's all my fault because I wasn't a "good enough friend" to my ex-BF in that I didn't call our mutual friend and inquire as to why he didn't get an invitation. ARE YOU KIDDING ME? Since when was it the norm to be responsible for your ex's social life???
I told him he's giving me an ulcer.
This, people, is why I'm so very reluctant to get in another relationship. I don't want to be someone's emotional crutch. I fear being too responsible for someone else's feelings. I want a partner, an equal, someone who likes the same things that I do. Someone who is fairly social, not a hermit. I don't need someone who drags me down.
Is that so much to ask?
Tuesday, July 17, 2007
Reason #386 Why We Heart Wingman
Because he has no qualms about putting his opinions right out there about all the various men in our lives. And because he's funny as shit. And because he might be the happiest person I know, either with or without the aid of alcohol. (OK, I know that's more than one reason. But who's counting?)
Case in point.
Two weekends ago, when I was unfortunately out of town, Wingman had the, um, remarkable good fortune to finally happen upon Blazer Boy in the flesh. Last weekend I asked Wingman what he thought about BB, mentioning that one of our other friends (very astutely IMO) that BB was strikingly similar to James Spader (aka the immortal Steff) from his Pretty in Pink days:
Case in point.
Two weekends ago, when I was unfortunately out of town, Wingman had the, um, remarkable good fortune to finally happen upon Blazer Boy in the flesh. Last weekend I asked Wingman what he thought about BB, mentioning that one of our other friends (very astutely IMO) that BB was strikingly similar to James Spader (aka the immortal Steff) from his Pretty in Pink days:
I was quickly disabused of that notion.
Wingman: No way, that assclown is nowhere NEAR that cool. I mean, I would give credit where credit is due if he were, but he's not. NO. WAY. I was actually expecting way more based on what Bossy has told me about him. Pretty disappointing.
I have to say, I still think the Steff reference is spot on, right down to the fluffy hair, the constant preening and checking to see if anyone is looking at him, and, of course, the blazer. Not to mention that one of Steff's lines could easily fall from BB's lips:
Steff/BB: I've been out with a lot of girls at this school. I don't see what makes you so different.
Andie/Bossy: I have some taste.
(Yeah, I know this is NOT how BB and Bossy went down. But it would have been funny if it had been. And as Bossy so aptly stated, we have wasted enough blog space on BB, but I just couldn't pass up an opportunity to post a pic of the Spader.)
Sunday, July 15, 2007
The Catch Has Been Caught
I have not yet written about The Catch (see sidebar at right) because everything that happened between us happened several months before we started this blog and frankly he wasn't that fantastic. Fantastically odd and self-important perhaps, but not necessarily noteworthy in the grand scheme of life. A few recent events have made the whole encounter worth a MSGG update though...
The backstory, in brief: the Catch was a grad school classmate of Bossy's. I met him at a party of mostly their grad school friends in January. He latched onto me immediately. We talked for awhile, he seemed smart, a bit but not dealbreakingly arrogant, funny, charming, employed, around my age and clearly into me. I didn't even need my feminine powers of intuition to see that he was into me, because he physically latched himself onto me and didn't want to let go for the rest of the night.
He also told me that if things worked out between us, I could be very "well-positioned" because of his excellent job, the fact that he was being groomed to take over his father's company, etc., etc. I thought that was way premature and an odd thing to say, and a bit chauvinistic considering that I have a pretty good job of my own, but it had been a bit of a dry spell for me and I was trying desperately to get over Mr. Mindfuck, so I decided to just be amused rather than annoyed. The Catch really wanted to continue the evening, preferably at his house, but I declined as I was leaving early in the morning to go on vacation. I gave him my number, thinking maybe he'd call, maybe he was just drunk and horny.
He called. The next morning, BEFORE 10 AM. I thought it was flattering but really odd and against every known rule of dating. But hey, I thought, he's 36, maybe he is just past all the bullshit, Bossy said as far as she knew he was a decent guy, etc. So I called back and left a message saying that I would be back in town in a few days. He in turn left me a message saying he was "enthusiastic" about spending time with me and looked forward to seeing me "on the backside of my vacation."
I call back after my vacation.
Nothing. No return phone call. I think this is very weird given previous events.
He later calls, after a drunken text message from Bossy's phone, saying that he FORGOT that he hadn't called me and hoped I would still give him a chance, yada yada yada. I was like, whatever dude, I wasn't exactly sitting at home waiting for you.
He then falls off the face of the earth, only to reappear a couple of weeks later, hot and heavy once again. He said that he had been, um, entwined with another girl but that it was now over. He made a dinner date with me in front of at least 4 other people, putting it into his Blackberry. Lots of flirting and alcohol later, I take him home with me.
We have a great time.
He spends the night.
In the morning, I make him breakfast and we have a good conversation. No awkwardness. He tells me that he told his mother about meeting me. OK, that's awkward and weird, but I took it as a sign that maybe he just liked me a lot and that perhaps this would be more than a one nighter.
Later that evening, he calls to tell me once again what a great time he had but that we probably "jumped the gun" a little bit, he doesn't usually do that, etc. I agreed and said my feelings were much the same. Which was true...I'm not really a fan of one-night stands. He said he wanted to take a couple of steps back, which I took to mean casually dating and NOT sleeping together again just yet.
Apparently he took it as "jump back to the point before we met, where we don't talk because we are unaware of the other's existence." Perhaps he owned some sort of dating time-travel machine.
I ran into him a few days later, on my birthday. He bought me a drink, was super chummy, etc. I asked him if he was going to blow off our date later that week (ok, I was a little drunk and a lot feisty by this point). He said "yes, but not for the reason you think." Then he proceeds to tell me that he doesn't want to hurt me more than I've already been hurt, yada yada yada. I was seriously annoyed by this point, because um, I was not exactly planning the wedding or obsessing over whether we had a "future." I just wanted to know whether we had a freaking date or not.
He emailed and said he would be in touch after a big exam he had a couple of weeks from then. But he never called. (Shocking, I know).
This was in February. Now, we do not live in a big city and we have several mutual friends in common, so I presumed I would eventually run into him again, but I hadn't.
Until Wednesday.
I was walking back to my car, by myself, after having attended a cookout with Bossy and some of our other friends. A man is walking, by himself, down the street approaching me. I don't pay much attention until he stops and stares at me.
It is the CATCH! And, of course, I was immediately pissed because in my head when I envisioned our, um, reunion, I was looking smoking hot, not all sweaty and wearing my glasses. Not that he seemed to notice, because, he is in fact a dude.
He gives me a big hug and seems happy to see me. I am cordial, we make small talk, he asks to walk me to my car. I did not think that was necessary but said ok. When he wasn't making small talk, he was just sort of staring at me and (I thought) seemed kind of sad. Eventually I said "well, I'm gonna go ahead and go now."
He gave me another big bear hug, and this time he would NOT let go. For literally minutes. Then he started CRADLING MY HEAD. I am thinking, this is really messed up, what is his deal, because if he was going to do this type of thing he really should have spent some of the "small talk" time explaining why he went to such lengths to seem interested in actually dating me only to turn around and treat me like a casual drunken hookup. Or something along those lines.
He finally breaks the hug....and KISSES ME. A relatively chaste kiss but still.
Then the piece de resistance.
As he breaks away, he lets his hand graze DOWN MY SHIRT. As in TOUCHES MY BOOB. WITHOUT PERMISSION.
WTF?
Bossy can't figure him out when I relay the story to her. She thinks he's as weird as I do. I comment again that it could have just been me, but he seemed kind of sad and out of sorts. My guy friends all agree the copping of the feel was not at all accidental and way sleazy.
Cut to last night.
Bossy and another friend of ours arrive at a party where I'm chilling out and having some drinks with our other friend Texas. They have news.
The Catch is about to become a father. In December. With an allegedly older woman. Supposedly he has agreed to "do the right thing," as in support the child if she in turn agrees to a paternity test and it turned out that he indeed had the lucky swimmer. Which makes me think this child was not conceived in a committed, loving relationship.
My jaw hits the ground and does not return for at least a half hour.
No wonder he seemed sad and lonely, and was wandering the streets by himself.
My friends soon quip: Flirty, all we could think of is that could have been you!!!!
All I could think of is, wow that would have SUCKED if it had been me. Thank the Lord above for effective birth control.
The backstory, in brief: the Catch was a grad school classmate of Bossy's. I met him at a party of mostly their grad school friends in January. He latched onto me immediately. We talked for awhile, he seemed smart, a bit but not dealbreakingly arrogant, funny, charming, employed, around my age and clearly into me. I didn't even need my feminine powers of intuition to see that he was into me, because he physically latched himself onto me and didn't want to let go for the rest of the night.
He also told me that if things worked out between us, I could be very "well-positioned" because of his excellent job, the fact that he was being groomed to take over his father's company, etc., etc. I thought that was way premature and an odd thing to say, and a bit chauvinistic considering that I have a pretty good job of my own, but it had been a bit of a dry spell for me and I was trying desperately to get over Mr. Mindfuck, so I decided to just be amused rather than annoyed. The Catch really wanted to continue the evening, preferably at his house, but I declined as I was leaving early in the morning to go on vacation. I gave him my number, thinking maybe he'd call, maybe he was just drunk and horny.
He called. The next morning, BEFORE 10 AM. I thought it was flattering but really odd and against every known rule of dating. But hey, I thought, he's 36, maybe he is just past all the bullshit, Bossy said as far as she knew he was a decent guy, etc. So I called back and left a message saying that I would be back in town in a few days. He in turn left me a message saying he was "enthusiastic" about spending time with me and looked forward to seeing me "on the backside of my vacation."
I call back after my vacation.
Nothing. No return phone call. I think this is very weird given previous events.
He later calls, after a drunken text message from Bossy's phone, saying that he FORGOT that he hadn't called me and hoped I would still give him a chance, yada yada yada. I was like, whatever dude, I wasn't exactly sitting at home waiting for you.
He then falls off the face of the earth, only to reappear a couple of weeks later, hot and heavy once again. He said that he had been, um, entwined with another girl but that it was now over. He made a dinner date with me in front of at least 4 other people, putting it into his Blackberry. Lots of flirting and alcohol later, I take him home with me.
We have a great time.
He spends the night.
In the morning, I make him breakfast and we have a good conversation. No awkwardness. He tells me that he told his mother about meeting me. OK, that's awkward and weird, but I took it as a sign that maybe he just liked me a lot and that perhaps this would be more than a one nighter.
Later that evening, he calls to tell me once again what a great time he had but that we probably "jumped the gun" a little bit, he doesn't usually do that, etc. I agreed and said my feelings were much the same. Which was true...I'm not really a fan of one-night stands. He said he wanted to take a couple of steps back, which I took to mean casually dating and NOT sleeping together again just yet.
Apparently he took it as "jump back to the point before we met, where we don't talk because we are unaware of the other's existence." Perhaps he owned some sort of dating time-travel machine.
I ran into him a few days later, on my birthday. He bought me a drink, was super chummy, etc. I asked him if he was going to blow off our date later that week (ok, I was a little drunk and a lot feisty by this point). He said "yes, but not for the reason you think." Then he proceeds to tell me that he doesn't want to hurt me more than I've already been hurt, yada yada yada. I was seriously annoyed by this point, because um, I was not exactly planning the wedding or obsessing over whether we had a "future." I just wanted to know whether we had a freaking date or not.
He emailed and said he would be in touch after a big exam he had a couple of weeks from then. But he never called. (Shocking, I know).
This was in February. Now, we do not live in a big city and we have several mutual friends in common, so I presumed I would eventually run into him again, but I hadn't.
Until Wednesday.
I was walking back to my car, by myself, after having attended a cookout with Bossy and some of our other friends. A man is walking, by himself, down the street approaching me. I don't pay much attention until he stops and stares at me.
It is the CATCH! And, of course, I was immediately pissed because in my head when I envisioned our, um, reunion, I was looking smoking hot, not all sweaty and wearing my glasses. Not that he seemed to notice, because, he is in fact a dude.
He gives me a big hug and seems happy to see me. I am cordial, we make small talk, he asks to walk me to my car. I did not think that was necessary but said ok. When he wasn't making small talk, he was just sort of staring at me and (I thought) seemed kind of sad. Eventually I said "well, I'm gonna go ahead and go now."
He gave me another big bear hug, and this time he would NOT let go. For literally minutes. Then he started CRADLING MY HEAD. I am thinking, this is really messed up, what is his deal, because if he was going to do this type of thing he really should have spent some of the "small talk" time explaining why he went to such lengths to seem interested in actually dating me only to turn around and treat me like a casual drunken hookup. Or something along those lines.
He finally breaks the hug....and KISSES ME. A relatively chaste kiss but still.
Then the piece de resistance.
As he breaks away, he lets his hand graze DOWN MY SHIRT. As in TOUCHES MY BOOB. WITHOUT PERMISSION.
WTF?
Bossy can't figure him out when I relay the story to her. She thinks he's as weird as I do. I comment again that it could have just been me, but he seemed kind of sad and out of sorts. My guy friends all agree the copping of the feel was not at all accidental and way sleazy.
Cut to last night.
Bossy and another friend of ours arrive at a party where I'm chilling out and having some drinks with our other friend Texas. They have news.
The Catch is about to become a father. In December. With an allegedly older woman. Supposedly he has agreed to "do the right thing," as in support the child if she in turn agrees to a paternity test and it turned out that he indeed had the lucky swimmer. Which makes me think this child was not conceived in a committed, loving relationship.
My jaw hits the ground and does not return for at least a half hour.
No wonder he seemed sad and lonely, and was wandering the streets by himself.
My friends soon quip: Flirty, all we could think of is that could have been you!!!!
All I could think of is, wow that would have SUCKED if it had been me. Thank the Lord above for effective birth control.
Thursday, July 12, 2007
High Five
Blazer Boy HIGH-FIVED me as I left our favorite restaurant/bar with another guy.
Yes, gave me a high five as I walked out. With another guy.
And no, I was not walking out with the other guy to hook up with him. He was just driving me home. I am sure it appeared otherwise to Blazer Boy, but I have no desire to correct him.
I also caught Blazer Boy and Mr. P.O.T. talking about me. They were sitting at the other end of the bar, and I looked up and they were both looking at me. As soon as I saw them look, they turned their heads in a complete 180 in unison and pretended they were never looking my way.
What do they take me for? Stupid? Hardly... My IQ is probably higher than the two of their's put together....
[funny comment from Wingman over text message this morning, in response to the high five: "Who cares what that blazer wearing ass clown thinks. that guy (one that drove me home) was a thousand times better. write the blazer db (douchebag) off." I love my guy friends.]
[on a different note, I just happened to look at the number of posts for each of our labels... many of them have a few posts associated with them. But by far, the clear winner is "Blazer Boy." There are about 3 or 4 times as many posts about him as there are for any other label... About time we ceased giving him so much attention. He doesn't deserve it.]
Yes, gave me a high five as I walked out. With another guy.
And no, I was not walking out with the other guy to hook up with him. He was just driving me home. I am sure it appeared otherwise to Blazer Boy, but I have no desire to correct him.
I also caught Blazer Boy and Mr. P.O.T. talking about me. They were sitting at the other end of the bar, and I looked up and they were both looking at me. As soon as I saw them look, they turned their heads in a complete 180 in unison and pretended they were never looking my way.
What do they take me for? Stupid? Hardly... My IQ is probably higher than the two of their's put together....
[funny comment from Wingman over text message this morning, in response to the high five: "Who cares what that blazer wearing ass clown thinks. that guy (one that drove me home) was a thousand times better. write the blazer db (douchebag) off." I love my guy friends.]
[on a different note, I just happened to look at the number of posts for each of our labels... many of them have a few posts associated with them. But by far, the clear winner is "Blazer Boy." There are about 3 or 4 times as many posts about him as there are for any other label... About time we ceased giving him so much attention. He doesn't deserve it.]
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